Only Because I Screw It
by Jaspa'sColorGuardqt
Summary: Bella has moved from foster home to foster home, to only realize that she finally has nothing left. What happens when Edward finds her unconscious in the forest and he and his family takes her in? Will Bella mess it up or give in once in her life?
1. It All Started

Chapter 1

"It All Just Started"

You know how all of those stories start out, and they're all 'we met when we were five years old and we've been best friends ever since'? Well, my story is probably the complete opposite of that wonderland. It's been struggle from the get go, and now that I'm out of junior high, where girls get their period and they think they're queen bitch of them all, and in my second to last year of high school I can finally say that my life has reached an all time low.

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Isabella Marie Swan. That's it. No nicknames like Izzy or Bella or anything for that matter. Half the people that I associate myself with are full of shit. They use you and abuse you until they've had enough, and toss you to the side without a care for your life. You think I'm harsh? I'm just stating the truth. All of what I speak is what I have gone through. How I act around people is because of what people have done to me. I didn't do anything wrong. 15 years of being shifted from foster home to foster home has made me of what I am today. A cold-hearted, loveless creature that destroys everything it touches, what it interacts with, everything it looks at. I'm the mother fucking modern-day medusa.

"Get your ass out here man, we have to get going!" Lenny hissed. I swear if that fucker cusses at me one more time I will personally through him out the window.

"Calm your ass down and shut the hell up! I'm coming," I grabbed my bag and ran towards the door with him. For as long as I remember Lenny has always been with me in foster homes. If he got shipped off to another home across state, I was sure that I was going there too in the next week or so. It's always been a game of catch; it's the one thing I can at least smile about when I think of my childhood. We were always so close. We always slept in the same bed, woke up together, always...Damn I can't believe I'm thinking of this shit again. He's the fucking reason I'm like this.

"Speaking of coming, there's this guy at school that said you went with him to the back of the school. He's a junior, 6'2", blonde hair, with what he said you said a nice dick?" Lenny was smirking like if he won a freakin' prize for realizing that I'm a slut. A ho. A whore. The sleazebag of the school. I can't believe he actually thinks that I did that. I don't mess around that much.

"Lenny, you believe the stupidest shit around man,"

"How? Why? Tell me you didn't-"

"Do you really think that I'm that much of a slut?! Do you? Cause in the last month crazy shit has been happening and I feeling that you don't have my back anymore? You're starting to be one of them. I can see it, it's the way you dress, the way you walk, talk, and laugh. You're not Lenny anymore! Can't you see? I see a lot fake ass things in front of me, right now man." I couldn't even look in his eyes. He wasn't Lenny anymore. He wasn't that guy that just...he. He's not the same. Something just broke in me, I couldn't stop, "You fucking can't be who you are for the shit of you! Your entire little possy doesn't know the real you. I know the real you. I know the real you, and you're messed up." We finished walking and were in front of the school by the time I finished my little rant. I saw Mike walking up to us, and Lenny changed his body language. From pissed off and nervous to calm and cocky. Full of shit.

"Isabella, you need to come down. These past few months I've been noticing some changes in you and at first I thought you were pmsing, but now I need to ask you a question. Are you bipolar or on some really messed up shit?" Then he laughed. It's not the normal free-hearted laugh that I'm used to. It was the exact same laugh as Mike Newton himself. And that's when I knew it. I knew that I lost the last person that was sane with me.

I almost did the one thing I haven't done in ten years.

I could feel it building up, and then I couldn't take it anymore. I can't let him see me cry. All of the fake as people in Phoenix can kiss my ass because I'm done with this shit.

"You know what Lenny? I am bipolar, so I'm going to my doctor and see what he can prescribe to me okay? Will that make you happy Lenny?" He had a stupid ass confused look on his face, "I hope it does 'cause it's going to be a long trip without you mother fucking fucker!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The whole parking lot was quiet now, and Lenny finally understood what I meant.

I was gone. Alone. Then I walked away.

I turned away from being in my enemy's home.

From the one place that haunted me and stole my childhood.

The one place that gives me nightmares until I can't even breathe.

The place that made me who I am today.

Phoenix.

**HEEEYYY, okay I'm new at this sooo no pitchforks and torches, right? Oh! But if you do have to attack me you can throw soft plushy Jasper dolls…that would be nice :) Any who this story was totally thought up on the spot.**

**Some views on what the story will be:**

**~it will turn into a Bella/Edward**

**~not sure if it will be filled with lemons cuz I really can't write lemons nor would I try aha**

**~this story does have a plot. It's blurry but it's there :) **

**~ review! I'm new so you need to help me boost my writing esteem…pluuus**

**I'm on color guard! You've got to love me. We dance, do cool trick with flags, rifles, and sabres**

**Peaces homies**


	2. Internal Conflicts

Chapter 2

"Internal Conflicts"

**Okay…I felt that Bella's past hasn't been clearly defined so I wrote a chapter that would clear up some confuzzled readers…**

**Remember I'm a color guard person…you gotta love me!!**

Wow.

I feel like the entire world that was resting on my shoulders was lifted by the grim reaper himself. Go Grim! Well after my rant in front of the school parking lot, I decided to hide out in the woods behind the school. Inside me I felt a tugging. A lurching that seemed to scrape against the sides of my chest. I couldn't breathe anymore. Quickly running to the nearest tree stump I sat and gasped for air. I'm going to die, alone in this stupid fucked up forest. I couldn't die here. Even though I have a fucking fucked up life with a shitty place to live, I don't deserve to die here. I have to get away. I just have to.

…that's when I passed out.

_Flashback:_

_Mrs. Erhamphire told me that me that Ms. Lesly couldn't take care of Lenny and I anymore so we're moving to one of her friend's house across town. I don't understand why she couldn't handle us. We always tried to have fun and to follow her rules at the same time, but it wasn't working as well she thought. Mommies can't send away their kids. She told us she loved us. She was always nice to us, and made sure we had food. Maybe Ms. Lesly was like Mr. Jones, we were with him the last time before we moved to live with Ms. Lesly. Everybody is friends with everyone because we always leave to live with their friends. _

"_Sweetie, here's your new home. You and Lenny will live with Kenneth Herrrison. He has a wife named Emily, and they're going to take care of you guys. Oh look, here comes Kenneth now," Mrs. Erhamphire held my hand my hand the whole time she talked. When Kenneth walked out of his large house, he reminded me of an underwear model Ms. Lesly always talked about. He had the hair that had the perfect waves and he looked like he was fit. _

"_Why hello, Isabella, I'm Kenneth, but I'm sure Amanda has already told you that. I'm going to be your daddy. Emily is my wife and she is very excited to meet both of you. Lenny your room is going to be across from Isabella's room so you guys are close to each other. Come inside I want to show you around." Kenneth seemed really nice. Mrs. Erhamphire left and told us that she would visit us tomorrow. _

_ Later in the day Emily came home from work. She was beautiful; she had golden blonde hair that was cut short to her shoulders. I was surprised to how straight it was cut in a line. She had bright blue eyes that were like Lenny's only lighter. The more time we spent together, the more I thought she was a little mean with her words. _

_Kenneth told us what our bedtimes were and he tucked me into sleep after Lenny._

"_Goodnight, Bella. I hope that is okay with you, that I gave you a nickname? Well I just wanted to kiss you goodnight and I'll tuck you in every night. I'm happy that you're here."_

_He then gave me a kiss on my forehead. Then on my cheek, and then closer to my mouth the next time. I wasn't sure if parents are supposed to kiss you that many times, but it felt nice to be loved by my new dad Kenneth after a long time._

I woke up feeling distorted and almost calm after my dream. I haven't had a dream like that for awhile now, and it made me feel sane and crazy at the same time. Once I recovered from my shock I could barely lift my eyes to open, and I heard muffled voices over the ringing in my ears. I was warm. The forest is never warm like this and smelled like vanilla.


	3. This Is What Life Gives Me?

Chapter 3

"This Is What My Life Gives Me?"

**I'm baack, okay just want to thank LilyFlower94 cuz you don't even understand how happy I was that I got a review. Muchas Gracias!!!**

**This is in Edward's point of view and is starting from when he wakes up, the same day Bella leaves Lenny.**

I woke up to the high pitched beeping noise of my alarm clock that quickly switched to "Pocket Full of Sunshine". Alice. All night I was talking to Lauren, my girlfriend, who was convinced that I fooled around with Jessica Stanley. I swear she acts like a spoiled bitch most of the time I'm with her. Monday she slapped me. Tuesday and Wednesday she pushed into the lockers. Thursday she ignored me, and on Friday she was complaining that we don't spend time together. She's a bipolar bitch. Man. Who am I kidding; we're in love with each. I never talk about her like this. Damn headache. All of a sudden Alice skipped into my room.

"Good morning sunshine, long night on the phone with the psycho?" Alice sang.

"Alice. How many times have I told you she's not-," She interrupted me.

"I know, I know, but one day or another you're going to get tired of apologizing and actually dump her for a girl that's worth your time. I mean, Edward, you're so talented and sweet. Why waste your time on a girl that has half the brains of leech. Hell, she is a leech. Look at you! You look like you haven't slept in weeks!"

I tuned her out for I have heard this speech a million times. All of them are about how I could do better and have something worth fighting for. She only says that because she has Jasper in her life and that she's always been perfect. I'm the disheveled twin while Alice probably is the one my parents want me to be. Esme did want two twin girls, who she could dress in matching outfits. I just happened to be a boy. It's not that my parents dislike me; it's more that I could do better with my decisions. I'm a good kid. Sometimes fall off the tracks but I'm a good kid.

"Edward?!"

"Yeah?" Damn, she caught me.

"Edward," she went to sit on the foot of my bed, "please realize that I just want the best for you. She doesn't have to be perfect, but at least okay. Lauren is not 'okay'. She's a mess, and I know that she's using you in some way. I don't know what, but I will find out. One day. Now get dressed! We have a full day ahead of us!" And with that she was out of my room. I decided to follow her instruction and get dressed. I wanted to keep it simple, dark wash jeans with a black shirt with angel wings on the back. Of course I made sure I showered and came to the conclusion that my hair was unfixable as always.

I went downstairs to see what my mom made for breakfast only to be surprised that she was sitting down drinking coffee. I guess it's one of _those_ mornings. When my mom and dad have some sort of rift, there's no breakfast. It doesn't happen often, but over the years I caught on to it. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat next to her.

"Morning, mom." I didn't look at her and ate my cereal.

"Morning, Edward. Sleep alright?" she looked oddly smug.

"Yes, I guess,"

"Anything I should know?" Why was she asking around like this? Oh. My talk with Lauren.

"No, nothing out of the ordinary. Why?" I wish Alice would hurry up and get ready so we could leave.

"Oh, nothing I just thought I heard you talking to Lauren last night. I mean it's not like I was eavesdropping. You raised your voice a couple times. Now, Edward, I don't want you yelling at her over the phone like that-"

"I know mom, I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened,"

"Just sort of happened? A lot of things 'just sort of happen', Edward. What if you get mad at her and you can't control yourself? Your father and I have raised you better than to ever lay a hand on a woman. We know your temper. You've gotten into a fight before, and that has lead into two other fights Edward. You get hostile when you get into a certain place in your head. You-,"

"Good morning, mom," Alice came in at just the right time. My mom was treating me like I'm Godzilla or something. I'm not a fucking street fighter who stalks people for a living. That shit happened last year. She still holds it over my head like I'm a five year old.

"Come on Alice, we're leaving now," I stood up and put my bowl in the sink.

"But I haven't gotten anything to eat yet,"

"I'll get you something on the way, let's go." I grabbed my bag and key from the counter and headed towards the door.

"Edward, we haven't finished our conversation. Don't let your temper get in the way with Lauren, she's a good girl," Alice snorted.

"Mom. Stop treating me like a ticking time bomb already, that shit happened a year ago. I'm fine so you can stop caring now." When the words left my mouth, they were harsher than intended. I could tell the look of hurt in my mother's eyes.

"You will not talk to me like that ever again, mister, do you hear me?"

I was beyond annoyed by then so I walked out the door. I can honestly admit that I was disappointed in my actions towards my mom. It was completely out of line, but she didn't even know what Lauren was doing to me! I was just defending myself. She automatically thinks that I'm the one that did wrong.

I started the engine, and turned on the radio.

"Edward? Are you sure you're okay? I can get Jasper to come pick me up, it'll be fine,"

"No no, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm already driving us to school. If I stay home, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to take. I'm sorry that you had to hear all of that. I didn't mean for you to be in the middle of that. It's just that mom always nags me about the fights, and after all the police reports that were filed, she still doesn't believe that I was defending myself against Mike's little crew."

"Okay, I was just wondering. I know what happened that day and I believe you. If it wasn't for you I would've been hurt. Jasper's grateful that you protected me, too. I know mom doesn't believe you, but she'll come around. Probably in some sort of shock." Alice always knows when I need her the most. We pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car just in time to hear the infamous duo mouthing off to each other. Alice and I parted ways and I walked closer to where a crowd was forming around them.

"I know the real you. I know the real you, and you're messed up," From the looks of it she was livid. Mike's little possy showed up. That Lenny guy is like their lap dog or something.

"Isabella, you need to come down. These past few months I've been noticing some changes in you and at first I thought you were pmsing, but now I need to ask you a question. Are you bipolar or on some really messed up shit?" Pathetic. He's the copy of Mike Newton himself. I started to walk into the school, but when I heard laughs I halted. I looked back to see her storm into the woods. This school is full of drama.

I headed to my locker to see Lauren in front of it, waiting. I leaned into to her to give her a kiss, but she turned her head. She wants to play games, huh?

"Lauren, the day just started."

"And? You yelled at me on the phone last night. What was that? I'm sorry that I called you out on your little adventure with Jessica. I am your girlfriend you don't treat me that way. I have shown you nothing but respect and all I get is betrayal and infidelity." Bitch tone. At least she knows a couple of decently sized words.

"Lauren. If you don't remember you were the one who started yelling at me, and the only way to get it through your thick blonde head was if I yelled over you. You're the one who tries to find problems. You're the one who's always upset. Break up with me already. I'm sure I'll be fine." By the end of the day all the girls in my life will hate me.

"I I don't want to break up, Edward. I want us to work things about, but you keep on cheating on me!"

"I have done no shit what so ever with any of the girls in this school. I'll say it even slower for you. I. Did. Not. Cheat. On. You. Bitch." Damn I did not mean to say that, "Lauren, I didn't mean to call you that."

"No. You know what I think you made your point. We're through. I'm breaking up with you. I'll come back later tonight and drop off your stuff and everything. Bye Edward," she hugged me goodbye and walked away. I guess that means I'm single.

The warning bell rang, so I headed off to homeroom. Lucky enough for me Lauren and I had the class together. 15 minutes in, she ran out in tears with her clones right trailing behind her saying she will be alright. Alice was right, Lauren is drama.

When homeroom ended, I was bombarded with Mike and his clan. Fucker wants a fight.

"What'd you do to my girl, Eddie boy?" His girl?

"I didn't do shit, Mikey. Why would you care?"

"Why wouldn't I care? I care about her like if she was my own girlfriend."

"You can have her for all I care; she's not my girlfriends anymore. Hope you like sloppy seconds." I smirked for one second, and he charged at me with his arm against my neck.

"She isn't a fucking thing that you can give away do you hear that? You hurt her by whoring around with bitches. Now I'm going to tell you what you can do. You can go back to your little Betty Crocker mom and you rich daddy at home and tell him that their son was beaten senseless today at school." He was laughing his head off and nearly cutting off all my air, but when he started to talk about my mom that was it. I didn't care if he said my dad was rich because that's true, but my mom. Low blow.

I shoved him off of me and stared at him. He then jumped on me and started to punch my sides. Mike isn't a good fighter, but all those small punches add up. I waited out just until he started getting weaker and that's when I started punching him hard. In his face his shoulder his gut, everywhere. I finally got on top of him and went into all fighting mode. Next thing you know Jasper comes out of nowhere and starts prying me off of him.

"Edward, stop!" Alice is screaming to me at the top of her lungs. I was panting and screaming at Jasper to let me go.

"Yeah, you fucker! Listen to your sister and calm the fuck down!" With his face bleeding like hell, he's still cocky.

"Shut the fuck up, you are intimidated by me. I got the girl you want, I'm fight better than you, and I don't look like hell in front of the whole school! Cocky ass piece of shit," I walked off out the school with Alice running after me.

"Edward?! What was that back there? Look at you! You told me you wouldn't fight anymore! You promised."

"Yeah I did promise, but really Alice. What could I do with I guy that's trying to suffocate. Die? No, all I did was pushing him off of me. Mike is the one who started it all. I didn't do anything!" Alice looked at me with doubt in her eyes. First Esme, now Alice.

"It didn't look like it. His blood is on your shirt, your hands, it's on you Edward. I don't think I can stick up for you like before. You have never punched someone like that. You were fully on him. Punch after punch. I can't say that you didn't do anything because it's obvious you did. I'm sorry, Edward, I am." With that Alice left.

I started towards the woods with a feeling of shame. Ever since Mike has started gaining on me, it's been harder to try and not fight him. All this shit is happening in my life. I basically cussed out my mom, nearly broke a guy's face, and I lost the trust of my only true friend Alice. I don't even know how I became of this. Before Mike and I started butting heads I was a sincerely good kid. I played the piano religiously for my mom and Alice. I cared about the girls that I dated. I was immune from Mike and his degrading slurs. It all went downhill when he advanced on Alice. After that my grades started falling from an A student to a B/C student, I was angrier when people would question me, and I demoted myself morally.

My life has gone out of control. I looked up into the sky to look at the rain falling, when I lowered my head I saw a girl's body behind a couple trees. I jogged to where she was laying and I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was Isabella.

She was unconscious and barley breathing. She was bleeding from the side of her head. I couldn't even think of how long she'd been out here in the cold forest. All I thought was to get her home.

I drove frantically and nervously to get her home. I didn't know how long she'd been outside in the cold damp forest. I stopped the car in the drive way and carried her to the front step. I suddenly wished I didn't get in a fight today, god knows what I look like. Barging into the foyer, I yelled for my mom. My voice sounded thick and almost drowned out. I collapsed with her in my arms onto the tile, choking out sobs of sorry's to my mom.

All I could do was sit there with her in my arms. My life is a mess.

**Phew! I finished this in one day. A day!! Good huh? I decided to show whats been happening with Edward to help his personality. Next chapter will be for sure explaining bellas past! It was supposed to be this chap. But then ppl would be all why is Edward this…why is Edward that…**

**Review pwease**


	4. Her Demons

Chapter 4

"Her Demons"

**Heey y'all, I'm sorry to say that I probably won't be able to update that much during the next two weeks. Next Saturday (not this Saturday) we have our 1****st**** competition and this week is crunch time…*sarcastic* yay!!! So I'll probably write this chapter and another one, and then update next Sunday the 24****th****….**

**Hopefully you guys understand :) **

**Onto to the story!!**

Esme came running out of the office to help me while I couldn't do anything, but cry. I'm such a failure. How did my life become such a mess? Two years ago I could've had a the perfect girlfriend, be on the football team, be Alice's person to turn to rather than her boyfriend, or even have a fighting chance to be something positive in Carlisle's eyes. But I had to let Mike hassle me to the ground. I'm sure because of the fight I'm worse than Mike Newton. I deserve it. I made my sister cry. I made her cry due to my idiotic behavior.

When I was through with my hysterics, my mom phoned Carlisle, and he instructed us on how to treat Bella until he got home. Carlisle was more than horrified about the fight that I had gotten into at school. His voice had turned from concerned to pissed as hell. Last year I had promised him that I wouldn't get into any fights. I'm screwed when he gets home.

We laid Bella on the bed in the guest bedroom upstairs. I've never really been in this guest room before mainly because it was on the other side of the staircase. I was honestly a little excited that I have a reason to go across the staircase to visit Bella. I have to clue why these feeling were appearing out of thin air. When I cleaned of the blood from her forehead, my reverie was interrupted by my mom.

"Edward, we need to talk…about what happened at school today." I froze when she finished talking. She won't understand why I did what I did. Just like Carlisle, she'll be disappointed. I stood up and walked to the bathroom to wash the cloth off.

"Edward?" she followed me into the bathroom, "We need to talk your changes in behavior, and how you're not the same with the way you communicate with your father and me."

I walked out of Bella's room out into the hallway. Esme ran after me, and grabbed my shoulder.

"Edward! You need to stop disrespecting me. I don't know-" I shook her hand off of me and looked her square in the eyes.

"You said you want to talk. Let's talk."

We walked down into the living room. I didn't know why my mom was so tense, but you could tell from the way she sat in her chair. She meant business.

"I'm not even going to ask why you brought a random drunken girl from school into my house. I'm not going to ask why you were with her, but I'm just going to tell you that everything is going to change right now. There is no more partying late at night because I don't know if you'll come home. Do you even want to be here? Are you trying to be sent to jail? Because when you walked out of the house as a reply to my question this morning was downright disrespectful. I have not and will not be talked to like that. Do you understand?" I understood her perfectly, but the one thing she didn't understand is what really happened at school and is happening with me. She doesn't understand.

I raised my eyes from the floor to her face.

"I understand mom. But the thing is I don't think you understand. You want this perfect little life with the perfect little family in the big city where all of your friends will say 'Oh, Esme's life is fabulous. Her children are precious, and have you seen her house?' Grow up mom, this isn't high school. You're a mother. Of teenagers. Don't get me wrong, but I thought you were supposed to care for all of your children. I thought you were supposed to be sincere and care about all of your children's problems. You aren't there for Alice and me. You're only there for Alice. What about me?" I can't stand to be the child they regret anymore. I'm not being overdramatic. I can tell by the faces they make, the sigh of boredom they exhale when I explain my day.

"It's always about you Edward. Wait until your father gets home."

"Why? So you both can verbally attack me?! I've have never tried, on purpose, to humiliate you guys. I'm only trying to climb the pedestal which you have placed sky high. You don't care. I know you wanted twin girls. I know you wanted a boy that would be a gentleman and have a beautiful blonde girlfriend, but mom you're never going to get those things. I know you put Alice on another level than me. I love Alice with all my heart. You know that. She's my sister, I'll always love her, but the way I treat her is getting worse because of you guys. All I want is for my parents to love me even though I screw up half of the time, but Alice has that. My want and dire need is getting in the way with the only family member I have left." I could finally breathe again. I now know that she knows. A tear slid down my cheek.

"We will always love you Edward, but how can we love you as much as the boy we wanted you to be. You fight, you cuss, and you bring home sluts in the middle of the night!"

"I don't mom! I don't use girls for my own pleasure. I'll be damned f I have to explain myself to you another time. You're my mother. How can you not know how I am? I feel like this whole house is against me because of shit that happened to me. I loved you guys. I love you guys, but it's getting hard because every time something bad occurs, you raise your bar of expectations. I can't handle it. I'm crumbling under the pressure which is why I'm like this."

Esme stood up, and looked towards the kitchen.

"Edward, you made yourself like this. We still have a dinner party on for tonight, so I want you to clean yourself up, and when you're done I want you to lend Bella some of Alice's clothes until you can take her to a store. Tonight Bella will be introduced as your friend from school. Make sure she knows the rules too please."

My mom basically just disowned me. I never knew that my mom, my own mother, would care that much about her appearance that she throws out her only son out of her life. She walked into the kitchen to begin dinner for tonight's dinner. My mind was going in a million different ways, directions, languages even. If I don't want my mom to persuade my dad into hating me too, I should at least follow her instructions. I walked up the stairs and decided to check in on Bella.

I peered in through the door, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't disturb her, she needs about an hour for the medicine to kick in," my dad looks distressed and perplexed by the situation.

"How is she? What happened?"

He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, "I'm not quite sure, but it's definite that she had hit her head pretty hard when she passed out. I'm sure I'll be able to figure out what the problem was. Most likely a panic attack, but I would have to take her in to the hospital to run additional tests." Carlisle stopped talking and looked at me, "Edward, my son, I'm sorry about your mother. It just…things aren't going as well as they usually are and it's taking a toll on the both of us."

Bella started to shift in her bed; Carlisle moved me into my room and told me to sit on my bed because he needed to talk to me.

"The past few months you're mother and I have had difference in how we should raise you and Alice, my work hours, all the little things. It's been tough, but I think this might be the breaking point with Bella staying with us. I just want you to know that if anything negative comes of this that you had nothing to do with it. I love you, Edward. You're my son, I will always love you. Though your choices may be off sometimes, I still hold you in a special place in my heart." We embraced in each other's presence. In front of my father I couldn't reveal my true inner turmoil. I went to take shower.

This shower could've of been a normal shower if it wasn't for the degrading words of my mother. I turned the knob all the way to the left. Gallons upon gallons of scorching hot water drowned me in my sorrows. All my life my mom has been supportive of me until the middle of junior high. That's when Mike Newton moved to Phoenix. I can blame him for my mom's change. Esme and Hannah, Mike's mom, were best friends. Mike moved from San Francisco, California with his big shot parents who felt entitled to have the whole world cater to them. I felt an extreme burning on my back so I turned the knob to the right.

My life has completely turned to shit. I haven't even thought of Alice.

By the time I was dressed and ready, I walked across to check on Bella.

I cracked the door open, and I was immediately calmed. The aura around her when she was sleeping was placid, that is until she started looking at me.

"Eh, I wanted to tell you that you need to start getting ready for dinner. We're having guests over tonight. I'm Edward if you didn't-" She interrupted.

"Oh, I know who _you_ are. Everybody does. You're with that blonde chick that walks like she has a tampon stuck up her ass? You should put her back in the dump you found her in," Now I know why she's the bitch of the school.

"Look. I'm telling you what needs to happen in the next two hours, got it? You need to take a shower, I'll find a dress to fit your fat ass, and probably you won't look like a tramp that wants some _attention_ tonight," Her attitude changed drastically. She looked vulnerable, "I'm sorry, but you're not the only one that had a crappy day. A lot of shit happened. Got into a fight, found you passed out in a forest, and my mom disowned me. We've both had hard times, it's-"

"No."

"What?"

"No, we're not alike. You're a rich pretty boy who's had everything they ever wanted. I'm a foster child who is alone. She doesn't have anything but the permanent filth from being raped from her adoptive father." Raped. I almost didn't catch what she said because she trailed off so softly. I scooted close to her because I felt sympathy for her. She shouldn't have to go through that alone. When I wrapped my arms around her she tensed and then relaxed into me.

"I'm. I'm sorry Bella," she tensed again, "What's wrong?"

"Don't call me that, my name is Isabella, and that's it." She looked into my eyes, glared and shook her body out of my arms. "If I tell you what happened would you leave me alone and stop looking at me like that?"

I was confused, "How am I looking at you?"

"You look like you're concerned. I don't need your pity."

"Stop putting up a front. You're a lot prettier when you relax and act like your true self." I grazed the side of her face until she slapped my hand away from her.

"I don't have a front. This is who I am. I grew up in foster homes due to my biological mother's inabilities to keep her legs closed. That's it." She turned away from me in her bed. There has to be more than that.

"What happened when you got adopted?"

Her stature changed yet again, "I was adopted by a man and his wife. They lived in another part of Arizona; I don't remember the name of the city. I was about seven years old and Lenny was nine at the time. It was how all the stories are; man gets drunk and rapes his daughter."

"Bella, I'm sorry Isabella, that's not normal. Was he an alcoholic? What about your mom?"

Bella turned away from me; I noticed that she started to slightly shake.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I barely know you, but about a month after we moved into their house Emily, my mom, started hating us. When I say hate I mean beat and torment us. Sometimes she would come home from work, and maybe Kenneth, my dad, would leave to do something, and she would hit Lenny with a pan or she would burn her cigarettes on my arms or back." Tears slid down her cheek and she climbed into my arms again. "Eventually they got a divorce and that's when Kenneth developed a drinking habit. He would start early in the morning with breakfast to late at night cussing and screaming at Emily who obviously wasn't there." She broke into sobs. I rubbed my hand up and down her back. I comforted her, a silent urge for her to go on.

"One day Lenny stayed afterschool because he wanted to walk a girl that he liked home so I walked home that day. Kenneth looked well. He was dressed in clean clothes, the house was clean, and Kenneth looked clean of any alcohol. So I walked in and I gave him a hug, and he held on to me. He picked me up and took me to his bedroom. Then he-..he ..I can't-"

"It's okay you don't have to say anything. You don't have to, I know," I rocked her back and forth in my arms.

She started screaming, "You don't though! You don't know how it is to lose everything because you have everything!" She broke out of my arms and she opened the door. "Get out. I need to get ready for dinner."

I stood up off her bed and walked towards the door. While walking through the threshold I paused and looked at her. I could see into her eyes and I could tell that she was hurting inside. For once I want to fix her and be the reason that she is better. I need to be the reason.

When walking to my room past the staircase, I saw Alice come home with Jasper on her arm. I know she saw me. She wouldn't stiffen up like she did. Jasper wouldn't wrap his arm around her if she didn't. I stopped and stared at my sister. She wouldn't even look me in the eye.

Alice was the one thing I could not lose. And I did. I stormed into my room, and ripped up countless papers. I threw my CD collections off the shelves and I turned to the corner of my room that I haven't gone to in two years.

My piano.

I honestly contemplated smashing it. Scratching it. Anything to pin down my rage, but instead of injuring it, I sat.

Running my fingers over the keys I was flooded with memories of how it used to be. Or how it will never be, I should say. I closed my eyes and moved my fingers to a familiar rhythm, and let the sound echo off my walls.

I remember why I retreated to my piano. It filled me with an indescribable joy that I was unable to comprehend.

I wasn't sure how long I was playing, but I heard a knocking on the door, and I opened my eyes to a crying Alice.

**SHOT GUN BABY!!! Scoooore…haha I did it I did it I did it did it did it!!! Wooohoooo!!**

**Gahh I was sooo nervous with this chapter, I had so much that I wanted to reveal and there's mooore muahahah**

**Do you think that Esme should hopefully pull herself back into a loving mother that she once was?**

**Should Alice come to help Edward?**

**And the final question:**

**How fast is Bella and Edward's relationship moving *meow***

**And I think the most important:**

**Where is my Emmett and Rosalie?????**

**It shall all get clearer with the next chapter of 'Only Because I Screw It'**

**p.s. **

**so you guys don't think I'm a slow writer, I only write on Fridays Saturdays and Sundays unless there's no school….**

**See yyyaaa and you know you wanna press meh button…it down south and its outlined in green…revieeew**


	5. The Dinner Party

Chapter 5

"The Dinner Party"

Soo this is the chapter that probably will the least emotional….i dunno I haven't even started writing it ahah onto the story!!

**I looked into the glistening eyes of my sister. She finally looked at me, and she stepped back.**

**"No, Alice, please don't go," I begged her for the life of me.**

**She put her hand on the doorknob, and shook her head, "Edward, please don't play anymore. I can't handle it. It reminds me of the brother I'll never get back." Her words shattered me into a million pieces. I have to make it up to her.**

"**I can change, Alice. I can still be the brother that you know and love. I'm sorry for what happened today. I didn't mean for the fight to get out of control. I couldn't stop, I was enraged and I was a different person. I couldn't handle myself then. I'm not going to promise you that I'll be good, but I can promise you that I will try and be better. It's not going to be easy with Esme not wanting me anymore, and dad and Esme's relationship on the rocks, but I will try. You don't know how much you mean to me, Alice. I need you to say sane in this house. I can't survive in this place knowing that you don't want anything to do with me. Please Alice. I'm not asking you to fully forgive me, but to at least acknowledge that I'm trying."**

**Alice was crying by the time I finished talking to her. I stood up to hug her, but she shook her head and told me to stay where I was. I might lose Alice. **

"**Don't come any closer; I just want you to play one song." She looked at me. I saw my sister that was always there for me even when I wasn't. I sat back down and I thought of all the times we would camp out together during the summer, the times when she would crawl into my bed during a thunderstorm and I would protect her, and the times when she would know when I needed a hug the most. Anytime. Anywhere. I welcomed those feelings and I turned it into music.**

**My fingers knew the keys, and my heart knew what I felt. I just let my body take care of the music while I reminisced. When my song came to an end, I turned my head to see Alice sitting next to me. I took my hands of the piano and hugged my sister. I can't lose her again. I can't. She is the one and only sister that I have. She means everything to me. **

"**Edward. I'm just glad to have you back. When you walked off into the forest, I thought I lost you forever. I'm not oblivious, I knew that you were changing and becoming more distant, especially since you started dating Lauren, but I was afraid that the fight would make you shut everyone out. I was afraid that I was never going to see you again. I remember last summer when you got in a fight with Mike you said that if he keeps messing with you, you'll leave. You don't know how much your words terrified me. I love you Edward."**

"**Okay, okay enough of this love fest. You and Bella need to get ready for the dinner. Esme said that you'll need to lend a dress to Bella, and that we'll need to take her to a store later on. Work your magic on her." Alice had a look of confusion on her face.**

"**I forgot to ask before, but why do you call mom, Esme? "**

"**Well, words got exchanged and she disowned me. End of story." Alice looked shocked. **

"**Edward, what did you say? Why would mom do something like that? I doubt that she meant any of it."**

"**Alice, she meant what she said. I explained to her how I felt she was treating me and she turned her back away from me." **

"**I'm sure-" Alice was interrupted.**

"**Alice! You should come down here; I found a beautiful dress for you. It's the perfect shade and everything. Hurry!"**

"**Alice, just go," She walked out of my room, but paused outside of it. **

"**Edward, I'm sorry about all-"**

"**Just go." And with that she was gone downstairs to be loved by my mom. I really shouldn't care that much. I knew that there was a void between Esme and I. I knew that this was going to happen eventually. It's just that it hurts to know that my own mother doesn't except me. At least I have Alice. **

**I stayed in my room to clean up a little bit, and then I went back to my piano. I played for until I was content with the piece I have written. Bella inspired me to write the song. She had an irreplaceable beauty about her that not everybody saw. I was lucky to be allowed that close enough to see it. When I heard the doorbell ring, I put on some cologne and made my way down the stairs. Horrifyingly I was welcomed by Mike Newton and his parents at the door. **

**Esme turned towards me and I halted on the stairs. **

"**Edward, it's nice to know you're coming down for dinner! Can you help me with setting the table, please? The plates and silverware are in the kitchen. I'll meet you in there shortly," She gave me a glare when I walked past her. Entering the kitchen I saw Bella, Alice, and Jasper at the island watching the food. Bella looked stunning in her dress. It was a silky dark purple dress that accented her shape. The top of her dress fit snuggly around her breasts and hips and then flowed out halfway down her legs. I've never seen this much of her before. Her legs were beautiful despite all she has been through. Her body was the first thing I saw, but when she turned around to look at me, I was enchanted by her eyes. Large and round her chocolate orbs glared at me. It was beautiful. Hold on. Glared? **

"**Hi Edward, you look nice and cleaned up," When she spoke it was like she had to choke out the nice words. **

"**Hello Isabella. Looks like you're emotionally stable," I looked straight into her eyes.**

"**Yes." She turned around and went back to talking with Jasper. **

**I walked towards Alice, "Hey sis, is everything okay with her?"**

"**Oh with Isabella? Yeah, yes, she…she's fine. She was a little stressed out about some stuff, but now she's good." Why isn't she telling me the whole story?**

"**Alice, tell me what really happened." **

"**Edward, she was really distressed about her life. You know. About Lenny and what she is going to be doing here. She has no place to go. She's alone." I looked at Bella and she didn't seem all that sad, but then again she's good at putting up fronts. **

"**Edward." I looked up at Esme. "I thought I told you to set the table. I was talking with the Newton's and when I look over at the dining table, there was nothing on it. Get yourself together or there will be serious consequences. Set the table." I can't believe she's talking to me like this in front of everybody. Alice, Jasper, and Bella were staring at me wondering what I would do. I stood up and walked to the cabinets with the plates and silverware and set the table. I've never been that embarrassed by mom before. I'm sure the annoyance and shock was clearly displayed on my face. **

**Alice came over to me and put her hand on my shoulder, "It will all get better, but I talked to dad and he said if her behavior continues then they'll get a divorce. I'm sorry. I just-"**

**Esme came in the dining room, "Alice, Mike would like to talk to you in the living room, come with me honey." Esme took Alice's hand and walked her out the room. **

"**What the fuck did I do to piss her off?"**

"**I don't know. Probably your charming annoyance and the skill to screw everything up?" Bella's voice caused me to nearly drop the plates. **

"**What do you want now? Here to make me feel shittier?"**

"**No. I don't want to take your mom's job," she smirked, and moved to help me, "I know I might not be the nicest person around, but I can at least relate to how you feel."**

"**I thought you said we're not the same?"**

"**Oh we're not! I'm just saying that you need to learn how to brush it off sometimes. But don't put on a front like me." She smiled and continued to place the silverware. **

"**Thank you Isabella for the **_**words of wisdom**_**. You're the perfect example." I didn't mean to be that harsh.**

"**Well I'm sorry that you're unable to except anyone's help. If you want my opinion, you're the reason you're like this. You did this to yourself. So I'm hope your happy that you have a mom that doesn't love you. Wallow in your regret fucker." **

**She doesn't even know me! "I don't have anything to regret **_**Bella**_**. You like that name right? I'm sure you understand why you're in this situation. Your mom couldn't keep her legs closed? Well neither can you. You're the slut of the school. You dress like one, talk like one, and act like one. You're lucky that I found you in the forest. You wouldn't have anywhere to go **_**Bella**_**." The words wouldn't stop coming out of my mouth. Bella looked at me and then walked away into the living room with the others. **

**When I finished setting the table Esme brought in the food and we all sat. Oddly enough Bella was sitting to the right of me and Alice to my left, but when I looked across the table I saw Mike sitting in front of Bella. It angered me that he thought he could flirt with her. I shouldn't care because it's not like we're together or anything. I just thought that we progressed a little when she told me about her past. I guess I blew it when we were setting the table. We all started eating and I mainly ignored the conversation going around unless I was spoken to. Lucky for me that's exactly what happened.**

"**Man, I'm sorry for antagonizing you at school today. I was a little jealous about you and Lauren, but I'm over it now. I guess a black eye and swollen ribs are what you get for messing with a Cullen." I can't believe Mike is apologizing in front of my family. I looked up from my food to look at Esme. She looked at me with a hardened face. Unintentionally I looked at Bella. Her doe like eyes had a hint of confusion.**

"**Edward," I turned my face to Esme. "Michael is apologizing."**

"**I know Esme. I heard him. Mike I am very fortunate that you apologized, but what you just said doesn't matter because it's all bullshit."**

**Esme gasped, "Edward! Hannah, Michael Sr., I am sorry for the way Edward is acting."**

**I interrupted her, "No Esme, don't be because you could care less **_**mom**_**. Both of us know that you terrorize the whole school, and the both of us know that all the fights that have gone on in the last year and a half have been because of your shit talking face. So don't apologize, just get out of my face."**

**Mike glared at me and tried to look menacing, "You're right. I don't give a fuck about you Cullen. I could care less about your rank-ass girlfriend too. You annoy the hell out of me because you act like a little pretty boy all the time. Come to school with a feeling of rebelling and I'll punch that smug look off your face. I did it last year. I'll do it again this year. Each day I would love to smack your face and shove it into the wall. You are a severe piece of shit."**

**Mike's parents where more than astonished. Mike stood up and leaned on the table into my face, "Now that your mama is here you're not going to do anything are you?" I just looked at him, "Didn't think so."**

"**You don't scare me, bitch." Mike's eyes enlarged and he spat in my face. He almost pushed me over the edge, but I took the cloth napkin next to me and wiped my face and put it back on the table. "I'd rather take the nonviolent path Mickey." When Mike just moved to Phoenix, the principle would always joke around and call him Mickey. In our school, Mickey was the name of the largest kid in our school that would always wear dresses even though he was a guy. Mike hated that name ever since. It's stupid, but it's true. **

**He leaped onto me over the table and knocked me to the ground. Food was everywhere, on me Mike, and Bella. I struggled to Mike off of me to help Bella up, but when I moved her near the wall Mike punched me straight across the jaw, whipping my head into the wall. I remember from that point on was Bella screaming and a lot of warm liquid running down my neck. **

BPOV

**Alice helped me a lot with getting ready for dinner. I'm not used to this dressing up crap, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. When Alice was helping me out the dress she found a beautiful. It was a silky dark purple that made me look like I had a nice tan and in this dress I had breasts! The only difference that Alice and I had was about the shoes. Don't get me wrong I love heels, but the ones she wanted me to wear looked really classy. And expensive. I couldn't wear her expensive shoes, but I'm in them.**

**I met Jasper, Alice's boyfriend, down in the kitchen. He seems really nice and calm. Those kinds of people are rare in life. That's what my social worker would always tell me. Alice, Jasper, and I were talking about the Newton's and who there are when Edward walked in. In order to survive the night I hope he keeps his mouth shut about my past.**

"**Hi Edward, you look nice and cleaned up," I can't believe I have to be nice to him, but I should at least try. **

**He looks right into my eyes and says, "Hello Isabella. Looks like you're emotionally stable." Why would he say that?**

"**Yes." I bet he feels we have some deep emotional bond or something. Well that's definitely not it. I turned towards Jasper to ask him about Emmett and Rosalie. I learned that Emmett was a huge teddy bear and he is dating Rosalie, who's better known as sex on legs. Jasper told me that it's more amusing to watch them fight than to see them cuddling, and to never be in the same room as them when they're affectionate unless you want to be traumatized. **

**All was good until Esme barged in, ""Edward, I thought I told you to set the table. I was talking with the Newton's and when I look over at the dining table, there was nothing on it. Get yourself together or there will be serious consequences. Set the table." What is up with that woman? She just barges in like she owns the place. I mean she does, but in order to get respect you have to give respect. I've never seen Edward so vulnerable looking. I couldn't help but to stare at them. He stood up and walked to the cabinets. He didn't do anything. I've never seen him so submissive. Alice left behind Edward, to talk with him. I quickly followed.**

**I halted behind the wall when I heard Bitch-Face, a.k.a. Edward's mom, came in and got Alice. **

"**What the fuck did I do to piss her off?" Normally only psycho people talk to themselves.**

"**I don't know. Probably your charming annoyance and the skill to screw everything up?" He almost dropped the plates when I spoke. **

"**What do you want now? Here to make me feel shittier?"**

"**No. I don't want to take your mom's job," I smirked as I started to help set the table, "I know I might not be the nicest person around, but I can at least relate to how you feel."**

"**I thought you said we're not the same?"**

"**Oh we're not! I'm just saying that you need to learn how to brush it off sometimes. But don't put on a front like me." He isn't as much as a douche as a thought he was. **

"**Thank you Isabella for the **_**words of wisdom**_**. You're the perfect example." I was taken aback from his comment. I was just joking around. **

"**Well I'm sorry that you're unable to except anyone's help. If you want my opinion, you're the reason you're like this. You did this to yourself. So I'm hope your happy that you have a mom that doesn't love you. Wallow in your regret fucker." **

**He squared his shoulders to look at me, "I don't have anything to regret **_**Bella**_**. You like that name right? I'm sure you understand why you're in this situation. Your mom couldn't keep her legs closed? Well neither can you. You're the slut of the school. You dress like one, talk like one, and act like one. You're lucky that I found you in the forest. You wouldn't have anywhere to go **_**Bella**_**." **

**He has balls to talk to a girl like that. But he's scared as shit to bring my name in like that. Dick. I walked out of the room towards the living room. I didn't even participate in the conversation. All I could think about was Kenneth. And what he did to me. **

**We were all called to dinner, and I decided to sit next to Edward. My reason was that I wouldn't have to look at him because he was next to me. Smart? Yeah I know I am. I didn't pay much attention the conversation going around. It was mostly about parties and the hottest venues. Rich people's stuff to think about. Everything was boring until Mike opened his mouth.**

"**Man, I'm sorry for antagonizing you at school today. I was a little jealous about you and Lauren, but I'm over it now. I guess a black eye and swollen ribs are what you get for messing with a Cullen." Why was Mike apologizing for? I had no idea that there was a fight that happened!**

"**Edward," Esme projected her voice to Edward in an authoritative way. "Michael is apologizing."**

"**I know Esme. I heard him. Mike I am very fortunate that you apologized, but what you just said doesn't matter because it's all bullshit." Damn. Edward does have balls.**

**Esme gasped, "Edward! Hannah, Michael Sr., I am sorry for the way Edward is acting."**

**Edward spoke again, "No Esme, don't be because you could care less **_**mom**_**. Both of us know that you terrorize the whole school, and the both of us know that all the fights that have gone on in the last year and a half have been because of your shit talking face. So don't apologize, just get out of my face."**

**Mike looked like he crapped his pants, and then tried to hide, "You're right. I don't give a fuck about you Cullen. I could care less about your rank-ass girlfriend too. You annoy the hell out of me because you act like a little pretty boy all the time. Come to school with a feeling of rebelling and I'll punch that smug look off your face. I did it last year. I'll do it again this year. Each day I would love to smack your face and shove it into the wall. You are a severe piece of shit."**

**Mike's parents were freaking out like crazy. Did they really not know that Mike was the instigator for everything, "Now that your mama is here you're not going to do anything are you?" Edward stared at him, "Didn't think so."**

"**You don't scare me, bitch." Mike was surprised that Edward wasn't keeping his distant so he spit in Edward's face. The next thing Edward did was hilarious. He got the napkin, wiped his mouth and calmly placed it back on the table, "I'd rather take the nonviolent path Mickey." **

**All of a sudden Mike growled and leaped onto to Edward knocking him into me. There was food everywhere. Mike kept on punching Edward and me. Mike punched me hard in the arm, and that's when I looked into Edward's eyes. Edward pushed Mike off of him and helped me to the wall away from Mike. He looked so concerned with how I felt, that I couldn't help to feel loved by him. I was about o say thank you when Mike came up behind Edward and punched him so hard in the jaw, Edward's head whipped back into the wall.**

**I started screaming hysterically. There was blood everywhere on him. There was so much blood coming from his jaw, his mouth, even the side of his face. Jasper helped move Mike into another room, while Carlisle tried to keep Edward from going unconscious. Panic filled the room, but when I glanced over to Esme, all she was doing was apologizing for Edward's behavior. That ruthless bitch. **

Gooooo me! Longest one eva! One day as meh friend would say woot woot!

Esme has turned into a biatch!!

Carlisle and Esme are getting a divorce!

And Mike might be sent to jail! Oooohhhh! Snaaaap!

Don't forget to participate in my poll.

It's on my profile concerning Kenneth, Bella's adoptive fathers, life…. See yaa


	6. Personalities Clash

**Chapter 6**

**Personalities Clash**

**I'm sooo sorry! Ok well I came back from our color guard competition and we placed 9****th**** out of 18!!!Woohoo cuz our school is usually always last... haha anyways I got home, and I couldn't update on Sunday because my mother's cousins came in with their daughter. And then all week I had school and wat not, and my biology teacher has an epiphany and decides to give us a take home test or 'essay' that will decide if we fail or pass this term. Yay! So I had to do that on Saturday and today is Sunday and my mom wants her computer back soon, so I'm not sure if I'll get this chapter finished or not…I might just do a little blurb for yall to feel on where the characters stand and stuff….**

**Ooh yeah and I'm not sure if when I put this chapter up I'll be able to update for another week….got another competition Feb. 13****th****….**

**Edward's POV**

What the hell just happened? I feel like I'm floating on a caterpillar that's on a rollercoaster. I really can't even feel my legs. Where are my legs? Am I supposed to have legs? Hmm…what _am_ I? I'm so confused right now. All I remember was Mike acting like a squirrel on crack at dinner, and the radiant eyes of Bella when… When. When Mike…I don't remember at all. I think I was…man I can't remember shit. I have to stop trying to remember this. It's making me feel nauseous. Big time. Out of nowhere there was the tiny crack of light that shown through the hazy clouds of my mind. I tried to block it out even further when I started to hear muffled voices, smelled different scents, and even felt pressure on my legs.

"Edward," The voice echoed through my head finally reaching my brain, "Edward, can you hear me?" It echoed again through my head, but this time for some reason it came with a shocking high pitched squeal. I hissed through my teeth and my eyes shot open to a blinding white light.

"Turn that off, Esme. Can't you see that it's putting Edward in shock?" Carlisle yelled at Esme making her grimace at him.

"Why Carlisle? Edward seems perfectly fine. He deserves a wakeup call once in awhile."

"Esme. If you don't care then why don't you leave?"

"Why? I'm his mother, aren't I? I need to be here to support him."

"What is your problem?" Carlisle walked up to Esme and looked at her straight into her eyes. "Can you just do what I ask of you at least once? You're acting so…" Carlisle turned around while sighing and walked away from Esme.

"Like?" Esme probed.

"Nothing, Esme. This. Our conversation right now will turn into all the others we've previously had."

"Turn into what?"

"An argument." Carlisle raised his voice and held his face in his hands. "Please, Esme, not in front of Edward."

"He's in shock or whatever you want to call it. He can't hear anything."

"Yes he can."

"No he can't."

"Esme, stop."

"No Carlisle. I'm tired of how you treat me. You need to start being conscious on your actions towards me. I am your wife. Start treating me with respect."

I couldn't handle Esme talking to my father like that anymore. She treats him like shit day and night and then gets angry with him when he doesn't want to hold a conversation with her.

I spoke up, "In order to get respect, you have to give respect." It hurt to speak for my jaw was nearly dislocated from shit talking Mike.

"Excuse me? I think you need to rethink what you just said."

"No, I don't."

"You need to rethink what you have just said. I do not know where you are getting this attitude, but it needs to stop today."

Esme pushed my last button. The haziness had finally cleared and I spoke what I needed to tell her the last and final time, "You want to know where I've gotten my attitude? I got it from my own mother who abandoned me and doesn't care a shit. You're here complaining about how you feel everybody is going against you. How you feel sad that nobody is bowing down to you. Well I couldn't care less because I'm finally over it. Seven years I've held onto the memory of a loving mom. The mom who would tuck me in at night and actually give a damn. I thought that you would come back and let go this feeling of empowerment. You're not any better than us. You're family. Or at least you were. I hope Dad divorces your ass so I don't have to see you ever again. You never loved me. You left me and loved Alice. How do you think that made me feel? You never thought about it because you never care." I shook my head ad stood up. I swayed due to my head injury, but was steadied thanks to my father. I looked at Esme for the last time and went down the hall to go to the bathroom. I needed to get as far away from the psycho bitch as I could. I don't know where I got strength to say that, but it felt good. Really good. If I wasn't seeing red so much I'd probably do the can-can.

"Son of a bitch. Look at the son you've raised. He can't even properly treat a person with respect."

"No, Esme. I. I can't do this anymore. I have been demoralized by you over nineteen years of my life. I was blindfolded away from my values thanks to you. I want you to leave within the next two months. I want you to sort out all of your stuff and leave. I'm done. I'm exhausted by being with you."

"You're making a huge mistake Carlisle. We could have been great together if we waited to have children."

"Waited?!" Carlisle snapped, "If I remember correctly, you were the one who begged me to start of family. You were the one telling me that we were both ready. I tried to convince you. I tried Esme. I don't regret having two beautiful children with you, but I regret letting our relationship get to this. Don't blame me because I have tried. I have tried day in and day out, to make you happy. To make sure you had the grand house you've always wanted. I can't do it anymore. You've gotten greedy these past six to seven years. I…I can't." Carlisle walked away fuming into his office by the stairs. He slammed the door making the walls around me rumble. Looks like he learned the technique from Alice and me. Esme actually looked dismayed to know that her marriage is over. She doesn't fool me though; I know that she'll probably get over it by going over to the Newton's and getting crazy drunk. Okay I'm kidding about the drunken part, but Mike's mom will feed lies into Esme's head while she's there. I know my mom won't stay at the Newton's because they honestly could care less. I wish Esme would understand that they're not her real friends. They don't give a shit; just like how Mike could give a shit if I'm actually okay.

I was awakened out of my thoughts by Bella clearing her throat. At first I was annoyed, but then I realized that I was the one intruding in her personal space. It seemed that while I was fuming, I had unconsciously walked myself into her room, and had creepily just stood there near her closet breathing heavily.

I turned my head towards her to see her eyes red and puffy. I snapped out of my thoughts and cocked my head, "Wha-..what's wrong Bella?" I made the situation ten times worse when I called her Bella.

She shook her head and looked at her hands for awhile. It looked like she was talking herself out of something. She slowly lifted her head up to me and her face hardened, "You could care less shit-face."

I guess I deserved that, but I couldn't talk for long because the pain in my jaw was increasing by the moment. "When we were setting the table, I didn't mean it. Well at the time I did, but I didn't mean for it to hurt you. I was taking my anger and frustration out on you. I blew up in your face." She snorted.

"That's an understatement. You went below the belt, but it doesn't matter because we're not friends."

"We live together."

"No we live in the same house."

"Exactly, and if we're going to be this close to each other we have to be able to be in the same room without screaming like banshees."

"Or you could leave me alone."

I looked her in the eyes and walked closer to her, "What did I say that hurt you so much? Did it affect you so much that you can't stand to talk to me?"

Her eyes drifted to her hands again. She shook her head again and mumbled. "Edward, I'm fine. You shouldn't lose sleep over my feelings towards you." She sighed again.

"Well, obviously something is bothering you."

She exhaled loudly putting her head in her hands, "Why?"

"Why what?" Her question confused me. There were a lot of things that I could answer to that question.

She looked me in the eyes for the first time ever, "Why did you look at me like that?"

"Look? When?"

She was becoming more and more frustrated the longer I stalled the conversation. I knew exactly what she was talking about. The reason I rushed to her to get her out of Mike's way. I've always unconsciously noticed her at school. It's the same way I'm unconsciously drawn to her at home. This conversation is inevitable. I have to say this without coming off too forward. Here I go.

"I'm drawn to you." Damn, I should have thought that through some more.

"What?" An invisible front was placed by Bella between us. She was creeped out by my words.

I spoke slowly and chose my words carefully, "I don't know why. When Mike jumped on me and I fell on you, all I could think was is Isabella okay? Did I hurt her? I wouldn't purposefully try to hurt you. Trust me I wouldn't. I guess that emotion was shown through my eyes..." When I stopped talking it sounded as if I had more to say, it's true, I did.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"What do you want me to say Edward? I'm just a girl. I've only known you and your wacked out family for one day. This," She referred between me and her, "is nothing. I'm sorry to crush your little dream, but this is weirding me out. It has been a long day. I don't know if I want to continue living in this environment. There is nothing between us because we don't know each other. I didn't mean to tell you anything. I was high off of medication. You don't mean anything to me. I only care about Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle. I'm sorry you're not on that list. If you continue believing there is something between us, then I might be insane like your mother and leave too. I feel for her. Who could understand all the drama that's going on?!"

It was true. We really only knew each other for a day, and we haven't even properly introduced ourselves. I have no clue how I imagined all of this, but I know there was something there. I have to show her that I have a feeling, but I don't think I have that feeling anymore. She kicked a sore part in my heart about my mom. That isn't the Bella I know.

"Isabella, I honestly thought that we were a little close because of what we've shared, but I can't say that I would want to be around you. You're a bitch. You have millions of insecurities and you play it down by picking on other people. I don't know where you get this alter ego because you're right. I don't know you. You don't know me or any other shit that happened to me. Yeah you were raped by your adoptive father, but you're not the only one who's been through shit. I've been through shit!" My voice was getting louder and crackly because I was emotionally spent. "I don't criticize people and kick them when they're down. I'm not like you, and I'm happy about that. So you can go on your merry little way talking shit and being a pessimist, but let me tell you something. You're life in _not_ going to get better."

"You'll never get better, either."

"Yes, I will. I will because I have a family that loves me. You would get better if you would stop pushing and shoving people out of your life. Solo is not the best way to go." I turned around and started to walk towards the door.

"I know Alice could care less about you."

I halted and tried to play it off, "You don't know about me and my sister's relationship."

" I sort of do. We're friends now," She put on a fake cheery voice and held out her wrist. It was a blue and green bracelet with a heart as a charm. Alice was the one for making friends.

"I could give a damn," I walked out of her room and went into the bathroom. My jaw was throbbing and making me light-headed. I crashed on my bed, and threw a pillow over my head. I'm done with this shit, and I went to sleep with the sounds of my parents fighting and Alice and Bella giggling in Alice's room.

_Dream:_

"_Bella, please talk to me," I held out my hand to help her up off the floor._

"_No, I really don't deserve you. I'm a mutt. I don't have a large family to come to our wedding. I can't embarrass you in front of all your family."_

"_The only way you could embarrass me, my love, is if you don't show up to the altar." _

"_Edward, I can't marry you."_

"_But I'm asking you right now. Do you honestly not want to get married?"_

"_I would love to, but I can't. It's not right."_

"_Please, Bella." Then she walked away disappearing in the fog. _

Damn. I woke up to Bella and Alice laughing louder than Emmett high off of Snuggles Fabric Softener. I ripped the comforter off of my body and dragged my feet onto the floor. My jaw had a beat of its own and drained all of the blood from my head. They are dead for waking me up. Hoisting myself from my bed, I trudged towards Alice's room. Due to the fact that I can't see straight I think I did pretty well. I only knocked over 3 things along the way.

I walked into Alice's doorway and stared at them. They had the nerve to wake me up with their laughter. You would think that they would at least shut the door. They were crowded in front of Alice's computer typing something. Well, Bella was typing and Alice was laughing. I tried to sneak up behind them to get a glimpse of the screen, but Bella whipped around in the chair looking at me while Alice turned off the screen.

"Damn, you're really racking up those creeper points now aren't you?" Bella spoke with heavy sarcasm.

"I didn't mean to walk in, but-"

She cut me off, "Yes, you did."

"Wha-"

"You wanted to see what we're doing. "

"Well, I woke up to you guys laughing like hyenas. If you guys don't know I'm injured and need a lot of sleep so if you guys could tone it down or-"

She cut me off yet again, "You're injury is not going to be my handicap. Either you shut your door or put tons of pillows over your head." I looked at Alice. She looked perfectly content, but I saw through her façade. Something was bothering her.

"Alice," Her eyes enlarged slightly, "can I talk to you please?"

"Anything that needs to be said can be said in front me," Bella spoke…again. Does this girl take a hint that she's the last person I want to speak to or not?

"Alone. In private." I walked out into the hallway and heard Alice get off of the bed. Once Alice was out in the hallway with I made sure to shut the door nice and tight.

"Today's been a long day," I started off.

"Yep…it has." She sighed.

"How's life?"

She snapped her head towards me, "You're asking me how's life?"

What else would I be asking? "Is that bad?"

"Edward, I go to school just like any other day and I have my brother get into a fight. I worry about him the whole entire school day not knowing where or how he is. I get home and there's a random girl from my school in my guest bedroom. Dinner comes around in the school douchebag nearly dislocates my brother's jaw. So after all of that my brother asks me how life is."

She was breathing heavily and clearly frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Alice."

"You know what I didn't even include the biggest thing of all! My parents are getting a fucking divorce because of my stupid brother! It's your_ entire_ fault, Edward. If you didn't fight, if you didn't bring Isablella here, and if you would keep your stupid mouth shut, _none_ of this would have happened."

She turned away to go back in the room, but I blocked her, "It's not all my fault, Alice. If you remember you brought home Jasper and introduced him to Esme and Dad in a fairly peculiar way. Yep, drunk of his rocker, you brought Jasper home and you guys passed out underneath the stairs."

She glared at me, "That is your fault, too. You got us drunk, remember. You gave us drinks at Emmett's party."

"Who asked for them?"

"Get away from me, you officially disgust me."

She pushed me out of the way. I yet again, blocked her, "We have to try to work this out. Together. We're brother and sister so we need each other."

"I have Isabella."

"Well _Bella_ doesn't have you. She doesn't care. She only thinks of herself. Haven't you noticed?"

"She'd different to me. Why do you feel that you're in more distress than me?"

I know more than her. She doesn't know the real reason why Esme has changed. When I found out it was a surprise to me, too. "Because I wasn't oblivious the past seven years. I know why all of this is happening."

"Pfft, I doubt that you were sober enough to know what was happening around you, Edward."

"I don't have the time or energy to try and explain to you why our parents' relationship is screwed, okay?"

"You don't know anything, Edward. Stop trying to imagine things. I'm sure that I was a lot closer to mom and dad than you were. I know how things were at home."

Like I said, I don't have the time or energy to get it through her mind. I know why Esme strayed away from her motherly duties. I know why she stayed out at night saying that she was at the Newton's. I know why she would cringe whenever Carlisle would kiss and hug her. Unfortunately, Alice wasn't as observant as I was to notice these changes.

"Yeah? And are you sure you're not the one that had drunken goggles on for the seven years?"

I walked away and ignored the peeping Bella in Alice's door. I went into my room, turned on my music and tried to comprehend how I was ever to get through tomorrow.

**Phewf!!! I made it through this chapter!!! I know it's hard to believe but the last five chapters took place all in one day….even this chapter. Sooo will Edykins make it to Saturday? Or will he swim in an amoeba-filled lake and put his head in it to have his brain eaten and die two days later???? Haha yes I actually listen in biology…its confusing now but it will all unravel eventually**

**I knoooow what you're thinking: Why is there so much drama each and every chapter????**

**Well my dear followers if you haven't read the title it is called: Only Because I Screw It…that means they have a screwed up like and are unsuccessfully fixing their lives…**

**Eventually:**

**Emmett and Rosalie will be introduced**

**Alice will turn down Bella's bitchy attitude**

**Bella will become civil**

**Edward maybe becoming less hostile (idk about that one though)**

**Calrisle will be single-e-e-e and that's how he'll wanna be**

**Esme moves out and finally removes the tampon out of her butt**

**Edward and Bella together?????*readers gasp***

**Orrrr Edward gets back together with Lauren??? *readers have a heart attack***

**Until next time!!!**


	7. The Morning After

Chapter 7

"The Morning After"

**Oookaay sooo yall are probably wondering where I have for the last million weeks…lol juggling between guard and school and my bf hasn't been that easy to squeeze in this chapter buut I'm doin it **

**On with the chapteeeer!**

**EPOV**

For the past five hours, I've tried hopelessly to try to gather up my life. I shouldn't let one girl ruin my life. My life is a lot more important than this _girl. _My life _is_ more important than this girl. That was what I repeated in my head. Over and over and over, but the more times I repeated it, the more my words sounded like questions. When I couldn't tell the difference from what I was saying before and what I was saying now, I decided to take a run. I turned off my blasting music and glanced out my window. It was surprisingly dark outside. My clock said _4:21 AM_. I haven't had one of my infamous midnight runs in a long time. I'm sure Chief Swan is grateful for that.

I pulled myself out of my bed and shuffled around my room until I found my closet. I had to dig around to find a pair of gym shorts. That action showed how my priorities have been severely messed up in the last two years. From playing baseball and football to midnight partying and rarely hitting the gym. I quickly stripped and put on an old Phoenix basketball shirt on. Brushed my teeth and utterly failed at brushing my hair, I was out the door. I didn't fail at passing by Alice's room, and my mom sleeping in the second guest bedroom. I felt an eerie feeling walking through my house in the dark. For some reason I could still feel the strong emotions that coursed through my house on Friday. I stepped out the door abd stretched, I thought I heard a faint murmur of a girl's voice, but I ignored the thought.

I took the southern route to the river this time. Before my partying ways, I would always take the northern route to the river to enjoy the steep climb the trail gave. I knew that I wouldn't make it two miles into that trial. While jogging, I let my mind wander. I knew that today was a new day to begin positive feelings. A day to replenish the relationship meters that I have easily destroyed. Unconsciously I nodded my head to the thought. I came up to the river and looked out onto the cliff. I was flooded by troubling emotions of regret and abandonment. I had no clue why I was feeling those emotions. I couldn't take the feelings anymore and I turned away from the memories that were trying to enter my brain. I jogged back towards my house and again I heard a girl's voice. I slowed my stride and quieted my steps. creeping around the corner I saw Isabella on the side of my house talking to someone, throwing rocks into our pool. I softly jumped into the bush next to the garage. I had a clear view of them behind the fence where they couldn't see me.

They were talking, murmuring to themselves. I checked my watch and I realized that I didn't take that long to jog back. It was about five in the morning. I looked over Isabella's face and noticed her aggravated expression. It didn't bother me much, until I heard what they were talking about.

"Why are you even here? Charlie is worried shitless." I found out that the person she was speaking to was a guy, and Charlie? Is he talking about Chief Swan? "What you did was immature. Just leaving and not telling me where you went?"

"Like you give a fuck," Isabella stated. The guy grabbed her shoulder and tugged them towards him.

"I do give a fuck, Isabella. I'm your brother. Do you think that I would want you to leave and put me in the hot seat for losing you? No I fucking don't. It may not seem like it, but you mean a lot to me. And I'm not going to let you fucking get away that easily." With every push and shove he gave her I wanted to intervene. Guys don't treat women that way, but I knew somehow how that this conversation was important for Isabella and him.

Isabella shoved the guy's hand off of her and stood up, "You changed, Lenny. I didn't know who you are anymore." She slowly walked away from him towards the patio. Lenny, I guess her brother, jumped up from the side of the pool and walked towards her.

"You've changed too. I know this may not be the best answer, but I accepted that me and Mike are similar in ways. I accepted their offerings of hanging out. Why would I not want friends, Isabella? High school is wrapping up. I want to have some fun."

Isabella's eyebrows scrunched up, "Why couldn't you have fun with people other than the school's perverts? You know how they bother me. Every day."

Lenny walked closer to Isabella and embraced her, "Do you really think that I don't watch out for you? You're my little sister. I know that they've done so not so great shit and all, but being friends is a way that I could protect you. They won't bother you because you're my sis'. I promise they won't, and if they do then just know that I'll be the first to know."

I stopped watching them and turned around in the bushes. I felt I was intruding on something so fragile that one disturbance could make everything fall apart. I've never seen this side of Isabella before. I understand why though. I have a sister. We have, or had, a bond that was irreplaceable. Fortunately Jasper knows that because he has a sister of his own. I must admit I do envy Isabella. Her life is coming together. She has her brother there, looking out for her. I heard Lenny telling Isabella he'll be back tomorrow morning to hang out at the creek. I gathered up my iPod and quietly walked around the garage to the front door.

Closing the front door left another eerie echo through the house. Not having Esme there in the house _will_ have an effect on me, but I'm sure I'll make it through. Once I made it to the kitchen I got a glass of orange juice. In the process of pouring some orange juice I saw Isabella sneaking back into the house. It was obvious that she saw me. You could tell by the sudden tensing of her body.

We exchanged eye contact for about 0.28 seconds. While I was trying to go to sleep last night, I had convinced myself that I would _try_ to forget all of my feelings for Isabella. One of my first steps was never thinking of her as Bella, just Isabella. I continued pouring my glass when I heard one of the chairs pull out. I glanced over at my shoulder and saw Isabella cradling her head in her arms. Being the decent human being I am, I poured her a glass as well.

Her head peered out from under her arms when she heard the glass being set on the counter.

"Drink," I said.

She looked at me, uncertain to drink it or not, and drank some of the orange juice. I walked back a little an leaned against the opposite counter.

I asked her, "Who was that back there?"

She jerked her head upright and was on defense, "Who?"

"That guy. I saw a guy that you were with."

"Oh, um, that was Lenny," She cast her eyes down.

"We usually don't have people over this early in the morning. He's your brother right? I've seen him around school. Or when he _does_ come to school that is." I looked up at her and saw her looking out into the yard.

"Yeah, he's my brother. Why?"

"Nothing, nothing, I was just wondering."

"I guess you have a right to. This is your house."

"Yeah," I quietly chuckled and looked out into the pool. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her head cock to the side.

"What are you doing up so early?"

"I took a jog down to the river. I wanted to get back in shape. Plus exercising makes you happier."

She looked at me doubtfully and turned her head back to the yard.

"What are you doing up so early? I know you were talking to your-"

She cut me off, "Why are you talking to me?"

I looked her and answered honestly, "It's a new day. I just wanted to be a decent person and have some concern, but obviously you could care less."

She scoffed and walked outside. For some stupid reason, I followed her.

"You shouldn't be so hot-headed and cold-hearted. Not a good combo." I walked back into the kitchen and went into my room to take a shower. The last thing I saw when I walked into the kitchen was Isabella shaking her head and taking out a pack of cigarettes.

**BPOV **

I swear this boy is going to make me kill him. I will personally go into his room at night and cut his throat. Decent person? Concern? When did Hostile Edward turn into Kind and Passionate Edward. I'm telling you, I think he's bipolar. Other than severely annoying me last night with his blasting music, I must admit that I was a little happy that my brother Lenny came to Edward's house. His timing may be a little off, but at least he made some effort to patch things up. My brother is a soft spot for me. I act different around him. He's the only person in the entire world who really knows me. Like I've said before, I can laugh with him, cry with him, he's my brother. We're not blood-related, but I'm pretty sure we have a stronger bond than most blood-related brothers and sisters. I'm just glad to have my brother back. I wish that things could go back to how they were, but even before this my life sucked.

I popped a cigarette in my mouth and when into the house. I must admit they have a pretty fancy kitchen. Granite counters, custom cabinets and I don't even want to mention the unnecessary chandeliers in the kitchen and breakfast nook. That's their style, not mine. I walked to one of the cabinet drawers and opened it. My fingers meticulously worked around the crap load of papers, notes and pens and shit. I shut the drawer hard when I couldn't find a lighter. Of all the shit Edward does, you would think that he would smoke at least, but he did say he wanted to 'get back in shape' so I doubt he would let smoke get into his athlete lungs. Piece of crap.

I had two options. Try and look for a cabinet filled with candles and hope that I find a lighter there _or_ go into Edward's room and fuck with his stuff and _claim_ to be looking for a lighter. Option One wan't even an option, so I quickly ran up the stairs, while Little Eddy was still in the shower. When I opened his door, the first thing I saw was what was in his mirror. The mirror reflected his bathroom door being cracked, showing part of Edward in the shower. I inwardly chuckled. Hell, I even chuckled out loud. I just saw Edward's naked backside. Haha. Wow. I can say that his shit is the shit, but that might boost his ego a little bit too much. And don't think that I'm attracted to him. Yesterday I was severely confused and lonely. Girls always do that. Prey on every guy that they see. Right?

I glanced around his room. He had a decent stereo system. Great speakers. 13 CD tracks and even an amp set that could be attached. I let my fingers glide over the button and turned to look at his CD collection. Various genres were in front of my eye, which convinced me even further, that he _was_ in fact bipolar. I skimmed through the CDs when I came to a piece of paper that was stuck in them. It was a note. I wouldn't categorize Edward as the note-giving type of guy, but I don't really know him.

The note looked like it was from far back into the school year. Probably even last year. It's edges where worn and the sides where a little torn so I carefully opened it.

(_Edward_, _**Lauren**_)

_Hello my new girlfriend :)_

_**Gosh Edward, why do you have to be so obvious? lol**_

_What? Haha all I did was ask you out for…I dunno three weeks?_

_**And I gave in…what were you telling me last period before Mike stepped in?**_

_He's always getting in the way….buut I was telling you that I'm happy that you've agreed to try this out. It makes me happy. Really happy. That's what I wanted you to know…_

_**Well you make me happy too Edward. Why don't you like Mike?**_

_Who would like Mike? Besides Jessica and she's blinder than a bat. I'm telling you she'd be much better off with Tyler than the school's douche._

_**Hey don't insult Jessica that way…she's my best friend!**_

_pfft. I doubt that she's your best friend. Me and prolly the whole school know that you don't really even like Stanley_

_**shut up! Hahaha yeah your right Edward lol as usual…hey I think that we should stop writing these notes….**_

_Hold on! Before you totally ditch me and don't right back ;) are you free Friday and Saturday night?_

_**Yessss**_

_Well I wanted you to come over and have dinner with my parents. You could prolly come back on Saturday cuz we're having this movie night that alice wants…but it would be greatif you could come so I don't have to hear her and jasper sucking each others face off. Pleeeasssee :(_

_**Haha I would love to, but are you sure Friday night dinner would be okay?**_

_Shea im pretty sure…I'll talk to you more about it tonight…_

_**Lol you better call me ;)**_

_I always do_

I can't believe Edward would be that nice. I sort of do feel a little jealous that they were a 'happy couple' in their little fantasy world, but I can do so much better. I place the note back and continue to look around the room. I stand up on his bed and peer on his shelf. I find a box labeled "Keepsakes". I swear this guy is burying his heart in his room . I place the box back without looking in it. I think I'm losing time. I hear the shower cut off and Edward stepping out of the shower. In my head all I hear is myself shout Shit..Shit..Shit. if I try and run out now, then he'll see me through the mirror and I would have to talk to him. If I stay and try and wait it out, then maybe I'll still have my dignity when I get out from under his bed. Yes. I did say that. I'm under his bed wanting to claw through it to run out of his bedroom.

A good 17 minutes went by and Edward was dress in a pair of shorts and no shirt when he got a call. I thumped my head against the floor wishing to be free. I felt like I was the stalker now.

**EPOV**

My shower was refreshing. I'm glad I took a nice long jog to clear my mind. I must admit, I was a lot better when I took morning runs. While I was in the shower I thought I heard some rustling, but that could have been Alice next door. Seeing Isabella with her brother made me want to be with my sister. I should just wait awhile to talk to her. I walked out of my bathroom I heard a soft thud and then a louder thud. I think I might be hearing things. I'll talk to Carlisle about it. I changed into a pair of shorts and relaxed on my bed. My relaxation was cut short by my phone ringing. I couldn't find my phone for awhile, but then I found it under my bed. I thought I saw something shift, but who knows what I might be seeing.

I answered, "Hey man, what's up?" It was Jasper wondering how I was from last time he saw me.

"_Edward, I swear your dad is going to lock you up one of these days." _He chuckled and asked me how I was.

"I'm doing pretty well for being knocked out. I must admit that kid's got a swing in his right hook." I laughed, "I went into shock when I woke up, but only for a short time. Man, guess what?"

"_What? Isabella passionately kissed you for saving her?" _Where did he get that?

"Um…no, but I went for a jog today. Something that I haven't done for too long."

"_Congratulations, Edward. Getting back to your old self I hope. I mean the partying Edward is a lot of fun, trust me, but I want to have decent conversation with my main man once in awhile without him drunk off his ass._"

"Yeah, but I don't know if I should've went for the jog or not. After I took a shower I've been hearing and seeing things that obviously aren't there. I'm going to try and talk to Carlisle today before he goes to work. What did you mean about the kissing Isabella thing?" I heard a shuffling in my room. I'm going crazy.

"_Well, I think that Isabella is a pretty cool girl. When we were talking she told me that you've been a Flirty McFlirtster." _He let out a large laugh.

"I did not flirt with Isabella. I don't know what she told you, but I know that she's probably the biggest liar and manipulator that I know. Why would I flirt with her when I just broke up with Lauren?"

Jasper agreed, "_How are you and Lauren?" _

"I have no clue how we are. We haven't spoken since Friday at school, and she didn't bring over my stuff that she said she would. I should go over to her house tonight. I don't know if I will or not."

"_Ah, well I hope you guys can talk it out. The worst thing that a break up can be is if you guys hate each other afterwards."_

"I don't hate her though. I loved her. I know that the love is there, but it's not love anymore. I just care for her." I needed to talk to Lauren. She may have been bitchy half the time, but she was my girlfriend.

"_Then talk to her! There's no reason you guys can't talk. How's Alice? Have you guys talked or anything?"_

"Yeah…about that. We talked about two times I think. One was neutral. I don't think progress was made, and the other one was…well pretty bad. Apparently, I disgust her. She blamed me for Esme and Carlisle getting a divorce."

"_What? They're getting divorced? As of when?"_

"As of last night officially I think. After everyone left, they were arguing and Carlisle finally said the words."

"_Poor Alice. She's going to be devastated."_

"Poor Alice? What about me?"

"_Edward. You wouldn't mind Esme leaving. Alice feels that having both a mom and a dad is that way she'll stay happy. You know her; she likes to have the perfect life, no matter what." _

While Jasper talked, I moved to my bed and put a pillow over my head and listened to him. I heard some rustling again and was put on the alert. I stayed still and heard the rustling stop. Small grunts and tugs were moving my bed with each and every sound. I slowly lifted the pillow and I saw brown hair slowly lifting from my floor. What I saw before my eyes made me want to crush my phone into pieces.

**I am severely happy with this chapter! Happy happy happy happy happy happy I am!**

**Hahaha sooo Turns out Bella never got her smoke...awww and she was stuck under Edwards bed hahahah byyyyyee till next time!**


	8. Deep Shit This Is

Chapter 8

"Deep Shit This Is"

I was looking eye to eye with this _bitch_ in _my_ room. What the hell is she doing in my room and of all things under my bed?! My face was distorted with disgust and anger. She's been listening to everything that I said. She was in my room while I was in the shower! What the hell?

"What the fuck, Isabella?!" I screamed at her at the top of my lungs. "What the hell are you doing in my fucking room?" Jasper was severely confused and asking frantically what was going on. I told him to drop whatever he was doing and get over to my house. He protested for awhile saying it was too early, but I didn't care if it was seven in the morning, I needed someone here to prevent me from choking Isabella.

Isabella stared back at me looking dumbfounded.

I waited for an answer, "Well? I'm waiting. What the fuck are you doing in my room? Under my fucking bed?"

She finally spoke up, "Stop cussing at me!"

"I have a reason for cussing at you! You're in _my_ room! What were you doing in here? Did you go through my stuff?" If she touched any of my stuff, she's dead.

"No! No! I didn't touch anything! I promise!"

"I doubt that!" I went around my room and looked through my CDs and found a note that Lauren and I wrote last year. I froze. I looked at the CDs around the note and noticed something was different. The note was on the right side of my Debussy CD, not my Sanctus Real CD. She read the note. She touched my shit. Who knows what else she read. Those notes were personal. Those notes I poured my heart into to give to the one person I could share it with. Not with a stupid bitch who randomly walks into my life.

I turned slowly towards Isabella holding the note, "You touched my shit."

Her eyes went to the note and slightly enlarged. "I didn't…"

"This!" I pointed to the note, "Is something personal. You don't fucking read something personal. Obviously you have no self-respect or respect for anyone to go through someone's personal shit!"

"How is that personal? That's just a note between you and your fake-ass girlfriend. It's not that important because you guys broke up. Go get another girl."

Another girl? "You don't know what we were so shut up."

"You guys weren't anything. Trust me."

"You don't know anything! We were together for two and a half years and friends even before that. You can't say that she was nothing."

"Whatever. You guys broke up. Be happy. She was a dumb blonde who couldn't do anything but roll her eyes, and you were an athlete who could do a lot better."

I hated talking about what we were. With the break up still fresh in my heart, I shut down. I couldn't talk about this with Isabella. Especially when she doesn't give a fuck.

"Just shut up."

"Pfft. You know that she was a slut."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't want them there, but they spontaneously appeared.

"Isabella. I am telling you now to stop talking about it."

She benefited from seeing me broken, "Are you getting emotional?" I turned my head away from her, "Don't turn your head away! I want to see your face!" She started laughing her head off. I really didn't find this moment entertaining in any way. I loved Lauren. She was pretty much everything to me. Unfortunately, we both had some difficult times, and that led to me breaking up with her. I turned face towards Isabella, glistening eyes and all, and looked into her eyes.

Jasper walked in.

He saved my ass.

He freaking saved me from losing my balls.

I'm going to kiss that boy.

"Hey…what's going…" He looked from Isabella's face to mine. Jasper walked to my side and whispered, "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Well, no. She's calling me out on what happened with Lauren." Jasper nodded his head in understanding.

"Isabella? What happened?"

"What do you mean what happened? He got all emotional about his slutty girlfriend."

I exploded, "Shut the fuck up! I'm going to tell you this one more time. You don't know anything about me and my girlfriend. If I find you touching anything and I mean _anything_ in my room or any of _my_ shit in the house then your ass is out of here. I'm done with you!" I stormed out of my room into my bathroom.

She broke me down. She stripped all of my layers and burned them in front of me. I sat on the side of the bathtub and put my head in my hands. I haven't had the chance to think about Lauren and I. Isabella sort of swept my mind off of 'heart-broken' road. I needed to call Lauren or at least talk to her. She was one of my closet girlfriends that I've ever had. I cried. I left my dignity on the floor of my room and cried in my bathroom. I just need to talk to her.

Jasper peered his head in the doorway.

"Are you alright? I mean. Well, Isabella doesn't know anything. I know that you have a couple of days to either mope around about your break-up or doing something about it. I think you should do something about it." Jasper sat next to me and gave me a hug. This wasn't a girly hug. God. It was a much needed man-hug.

"I just need to talk to her. I think that would make me feel a lot better. She didn't come over last night to drop of my stuff."

"That's a good thing. That means she probably didn't want to give you your stuff back. She still needs you just like you need her." Jasper gave me a reassured glance and stood up, "Come on, man. Bring yourself back up. Emmett's coming over in a little while."

I looked up at him, "Why?"

He chuckled, "Well why not? We haven't seen him since last week. We gotta see how our first year college boy is getting along."

"There isn't a movie night going on or anything, right?"

"Well, you know Alice. She had this planned since Thursday I think. She didn't have a chance to tell you because of your fight with Mike. Probably you could invite Lauren over and talk with her."

"Yeah, that's what I was just thinking about. Exactly. Jasper?"

Jasper mhmed.

"Where's Isabella now?"

"What are you? Five? Scared of the neighborhood bully?" Hell no I wasn't afraid of Isabella.

"No, I just, I need to be myself for awhile. I don't need to be worrying about where Isabella is every waking moment."

Jasper looked perplexed, "Like I asked, are you scared of the big bad Isabella?" He opened the bathroom door, "If you need me, I'll be in Alice's room."

I gave him a nod, "Okay, Jasper, I'll see you later when Emmett gets here."

I went into my room to calm down. After a couple hours I got up off my bed and got on the floor to look for my balls. I must have ditched them somewhere in the conversation. Where was I standing when we were talking about Lauren? I started to crawl on my knees around my room when I heard the doorbell ring. I sat up to listen if anyone was getting the door. After about a minute of waiting, I got up off my hands, and walked towards the door. I stopped in front of the living room to look through the window to see if I recognized the car. Oh boy did I recognize the person's ride. It would be an insult to call it a car. It was a wrecking machine. The wheels were obviously cleaned from last week's dust drifting competition. I ran towards the door at full sprint and yanked it open.

I was welcomed by a goofy grin, "Emmett, my man!!"

He attacked me with a large six pack of beer while holding two, himself, "Eddie boy! What's up? How's the lady friend?"

My excitement to sadness when I tried to think of an answer. Luckily my balls were in the hands of Jasper, figuratively speaking.

"Emmett, there better hard liquor in the back of your truck!" Jasper came walking down the stairs with Alice and Isabella behind him. He walked up and greeted Emmett with a strong hug.

"You know there wouldn't be anything else in there," Emmett laughed and gave one six pack to Isabella, "Hey can you put this in the kitchen?" Isabella looked at Emmett as if he had two heads. Emmett eventually thrust the six pack into Isabella's un-expecting arms. I took the other six pack from Emmett and started walking into the kitchen. When my bare chest was met by the chilly breeze of the refrigerator, I remembered I didn't have a shirt on. I quickly turned around to go to my room, but bumped into Isabella. At first I flinched, but then I moved to the side of her to get out of the kitchen and into my room. I took one step, but then Isabella copied my move.

I looked through her, "Can you move please?"

She smirked, "Sure thing, Captain Emotional."

I ignored her comment and headed off to my room. When I was fully clothed, I was welcomed by my father getting ready to leave for work while I passed his room.

I gave him a nod, "Morning, dad."

"Good morning, Edward, or should I say afternoon?" He looked down at his watch and cursed under his breath, "God it's almost noon. Well I need to get going. I was going to tell Alice this because she's the most responsible one in the house, but I'll be back tomorrow around mid afternoon. I think. I...I have a medical conference. I should've told you guys about this weeks ago."

He looked severely overwhelmed, "Dad, don't worry about it, I'll hold down the fort."

He looked up at me with doubting eyes, "Edward."

"Okay, okay. If it makes you feel better I'll call Tanya over and make her 'babysit'."

"No. That's fine. I don't want her over here. She'll know what's happening, and you know how fast that girl tells people." I nodded. "Okay. If anything happens. Call Rosalie and have her over, but I trust you to keep everything in check, okay?"

"You can trust me, dad. We're on the same page here."

He nodded and walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to everyone. I helped him get his bags in the car, and watched him drive down the street. I was stripped away from my calm exterior to the sound of a snort.

"Well since the parental are gone-"

I cut her off, "Esme isn't here?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, "No, she left when you were bawling your balls off in the bathroom. Hell knows when she'll be back. Now like I was saying, since your douche bag parents aren't here, I'm going to my house."

Her house? She has a house? I stopped her, "No you're not."

"Excuse me?"

"I said you're not going anywhere. Carlisle left me in charge. You're not going anywhere." I stared her down. Thinking that I won, I walked back towards the house.

"Fuck that. I'm not listening to you," she laughed.

I halted and turned around. She started walking down the street. Is she serious? i was convinced when I no longer saw her behind the neighbor's trees. I walked into the house and dead bolted the lock. Bitch isn't' coming in here.

We all watched a couples movies and had a few 'munchie breaks' as Emmet would like to call it when Alice asked me a question.

"So dad left you in charge?"

"Yes, why?"

"Nothing, it's just that he always leaves me in charge,"

I could tell where this conversation was going and so could Jasper. He spoke up, "Alice."

"No, Jasper. I just want to know why dad left him in charge. There's no harm in that, right?"

"Alice," he warned again.

"It was just that he was running late for his medical conference thing."

Obviously not content with my answer she probed again, "See. You don't even know where he is. First you chase away mom and now dad."

Jasper exhaled noisily.

"I'm confused, what happened?"

I looked at Emmett and told them that Esme and Carlisle are getting a divorce.

"Why are you telling everyone? You're so stupid." Alice stood up from Jasper's arms.

"Don't call me stupid Alice."

"Edward. You are. When we get to school are you going to tell people there too?"

I let Alice unleash her building fury on me. It was understandable. I was a major reason why Esme and Carlisle are getting a divorce.

"Alice, just sit down. It's happening. There's nothing you can do about it."

"Nothing I can do about it?" Alice was offended.

"You're just going to get over it, Alice. Sit down and stop talking about it. We're hanging out and just chilling."

"Now you're on his side?" Alice was flipping out by now. I don't know why she was so enraged by what Jasper said. It may not be my place, but I spoke up.

"Nobody's against you. This is happening for you and me Alice. Not only you. I'm just not letting it affect me as much because I know a reason why they're getting a divorce."

Alice snorted, "You've finally came to your senses that you're the reason?"

"No. It's because Esme was having an affair." I let it out. For years upon years I had to keep my eyes and mouth shut to my mother's obviously affair. No young child should have to be told by one of their parents to not tell the other one. They shouldn't have to choose like that. Unfortunately Esme made me choose. She made me hide her dirty little secret. Alice's eyes narrowed and her mouth slightly opened.

"Edward. This is, by far, the worst lie you could ever tell me! Do you think I would believe this kind of shit that you tell me!" She was enraged. If we were in a cartoon she would be a 300 million ton steam train barreling towards me. I looked at Jasper and he seemed somewhat content on what I revealed. Emmett had confusion written all over his face.

"Alice, this isn't a lie."

"The hell it is, Edward!"

"Alice, calm down. It isn't a lie," Jasper intervened.

"How do you know it's not?"

Jasper looked to me, "Edward?"

"Are you serious?!" Alice shouted, "Jasper you knew? My own boyfriends didn't even tell me that my mom had an affair?"

"Alice. I couldn't."

"I know you couldn't right? He's your best friend? Bros before hos? Fuck that. You're my boyfriend. You're supposed to be with me every step and now I learn that you were against me the whole time." Alice sputtered more comments before retreating to her room.

"Damn," Jasper slouched back onto the couch.

"Jasper, I never meant for you to be in trouble with Alice like that."

Jasper put his hand up, "Edward, don't say anything. It's okay. She just needs some time. Right?" He looked up at me and I looked into his eyes. They held no drop of resentment towards me.

**Taaadaa! Not really satisfied with the ending but at least it isn't a cliff hanger hahaha….the last one was good. *takes a bow***

**Ooohkkaayy…two weeks from now is the championships for winterguard so that means that after that will be spring break which meansss chapter galore!!!! Woohoo….soo please review and tell me what you think about isabella's dad Kenneth I neeed ur guys opinion pleeasseee. **

**Ummm the choices are on my poll on my profile….**

**Sheyeppp….ermm…eat tones of peas and cheese this week (: **


	9. Nice Little Adventure

Chapter 9

"A Nice Little Adventure"

Well after Little Miss I'm The Boss, aka Edward, told me that I had to be stuck in the house with him and his friends for more than 24 hours, I left. I was not going to be in that crazy house. Alice is okay, but she's a little too emotional for my taste. My parents were always this. My parents were always that. After her blubbering for more than two hours, I got a little peeved at her and started to talk to Lenny. Which brings us to now.

I'm currently walking 3.2 miles to my old house to meet Lenny in the back of the woods. We haven't done this in a long time. Hang out in the back of the woods. Smoke a little.

After about an hour and a half of wandering the streets of Phoenix, I arrived to the battered large house at the end of the block at the edge of the woods. I paused and let my surroundings soak in. I smelled the air and I could tell that I was in my neighborhood. It smelled like shit.

"What's your problem?" I opened my eyes to an obviously high Lenny.

"What do you mean? Nothing is wrong with me."

"Well. I don't know, you just stood there looking all lonely. Or high."

"Shut up, you know you're the only high one here," Lenny gave me a confused face.

I clued him in to the evil chambers of the Cullen house, "I can't get one smoke into that house. I tried to earlier this morning, but there weren't any lighters in the house. I know I had one in my bag, but when I checked it wasn't there. I bet that snooty doctor searched my bags and stole all my shit."

Lenny nodded his head, "I bet he did. You know how doctors are today; they only care about the health of everyone. I feel sorry for the kids that live in there. They probably don't have a life."

I shook my head immediately, "Nah your guess is wrong. Really wrong. The kids in there have a life. Right now they're probably drinking their lives away while Carlisle is away."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well Edward, the guy that has some severe emotional problems, is a recovering alcoholic. I think. All I know is that for the past two years he's been drinking off the wall and partying every night."

"Man! I need to know where those parties are at. Is that that guy that's dating that blonde chick?"

"Was, they broke up," Lenny doesn't know how much drama is going on in the preppy group.

"Well, don't tell me. I don't want to know about the petty shit that goes on with them. Like I give a damn."

That's Lenny, only caring about his agenda and nobody else's. We walked past our broken down fence and past our crazy neighbor's pit-bull, and entered the hazy woods behind our house. Lenny always like these woods. When we just moved here, his eyes glazed over when he saw the woods. Until we were about 20 minutes deep into the forest, Lenny started to talk. He's always had this weird theory about social workers listening in on his shit. I think he was stoned when he though it up.

"So, you're living with the Cullen's now?" he asked.

"Well, I'm not sure, really. I'm in a tight spot."

Lenny stopped walking, "A tight spot?"

"Yeah, I…I think they expect me to stay there for awhile, probably two weeks?"

"Two weeks?! You've been gone for two days Isabella! Do you know what's gone down here?"

"I don't know, maybe that Mike Newton came over and you guys watched porn together?" What's the worst thing that could happen?

"Isabella." Lenny's hazel eyes turned cold. I know something bad actually did happen. "Kenneth."

Kenneth. The one name that makes my body shudder. The one name that can make me believe that there's a hand placed on the small of my back. Make me hear a deep voice near my ear.

"What about him?"

"His wife came by yesterday asking for you." His wife? He has a wife?

"He has a wife?"

"Apparently." Lenny leaves it at that. He doesn't say anything else, but I'm not having that. I want to know what happened.

"What did she have to say? What did she look like? Was Kenneth with her or?"

"She didn't say anything. Nothing much."

"Lenny!"

Lenny started getting frustrated, "Isabella, I'm trying to protect you. You don't need to know about them. You don't need to know him or his new wife. Don't go looking for them."

"How can you just go along and say that? When you answered the door, did you let her in? Did you give her anything? Did you tell her about me?"

Lenny took out a joint and lit it. After a long drag, he spoke up, "Why would I tell her anything about you?"

I looked at him, "I don't know. I thought she was looking for me." I suddenly felt stupid. Concluding that they were looking for me. Lenny was his kid, too. I walked towards Lenny, and leaned on him. "I'm sorry." Lenny snorted and passed me the joint.

"Are you? I forgot that everything is about you, Isabella. I'm sorry."

"Lenny."

"Forget it, Isabella." Lenny started walking towards the creek.

"If you won't tell me I'll find out myself." This is how most of our brother/sister bonding time ends. One of us gets frustrated or the other one says something that ticks of the other. I'm over this. If Lenny won't tell me what happened, I'll find out myself. I don't need his ass. I took the joint and sprinted. I didn't look back but I could hear Lenny jump up and slide across the leaves onto the rocky path that traveled higher up. After a couple jumps over broken trees, I ditched the joint. I couldn't outrun Lenny if I'm smoking in between. When I neared the opening of the woods, I heard Lenny's pants and footsteps near me and then they suddenly stopped. I didn't take the chance to look back on what he was doing. He could've stopped for all I knew. I was at a full sprint. Dodging trees and shrubs, I was about to be free to run all the way to Nonie's house. That is, until I heard footsteps again and then a grunt. What happened was probably the shittiest thing he's ever done. His body came down on me at full speed. The impact knocked the breath out of me. We both crashed onto the forest floor. It happened all too fast. Before I knew it I was pinned by Lenny's body.

With a smirk on his face, "You're too slow."

It was true I was out of breath. I panted, "What are you doing?"

"I'm stopping you. I know where you're going. Nonie's house. Why? Because he knows all the shit that goes on, and you're best bet was that he was with me when Karen came over." Karen? That's her name. Kenneth's wife's name.

"I wasn't. I'm not. I'm going back to the Cullens." I looked him straight in the eyes.

Lenny's eyes searched my eyes for any lies. He couldn't find any, but he was doubtful. He lifted his body up off of me, and picked me up. Damn. I cracked my back from the fall, and a loud pop came from my leg.

"You better go straight to the Cullens."

"I will, I will. Gosh, do you always have to make everything so dramatic?" We walked back to the house and Nonie and Mathew came over to hang. Around 7, its started getting dark so Nonie offered to walk me home, even though I could've stayed there. Lenny kept on saying, we're protecting you. I wrote a note to Charlie about where I'm living and Nonie and I headed out.

Nonie didn't talk that much; he just smoked his cigarette while we walked on the grass. I needed to ask him about Karen and what she said. I mean really. Did you think I was going to forget about it? Hell no.

So I quickly spoke up, "Man, shit went down the day that I left."

Nonie quickly answered, "Yea, like okay. This is what happened." He opened up, just like I knew he would. "Me and Lenny were out in the front of my house smokin' and shit when we saw this real fancy car drive up to his house and Lenny was all 'What the fuck is going on' thinking it's a social worker or something. So I'm like 'Man! Hide the shit'. So I take the joints while he run to his house and when I get up there Lenny looks all angry. Now this lady was all cookie-cutter lookin' and she had like long brown curly hair and her eyebrows were all arched and I swear she looked like she had tons of plastic surgery. And-"

"Nonie, I don't care about what she looks like! What did she say?"

Nonie looked shocked, but then quickly recovered, "Um…well she was like 'Hello, I'm Karen Herrison. I'm actually looking for Lorenzo and Isabella Swan. I was told by Kenneth that I could find them here.' Eh…something like that but Lenny looked pissed 'cause his full name was used and all. But he just acted like he didn't know who they were. He told her that they went out of town for awhile, but that he would tell them that she wanted to talk to them. She was asking some questions about what they looked like and stuff and then Karen gave Lenny an envelope."

We would be coming up to the house in about 5 minutes, but I needed to know about the envelope. "What was in the envelope?"

Nonie looked down at me, "I dunno. Lenny told me that you were coming over soon and he just went inside the house. I guess he put the envelope somewhere in the house."

That means I'll have to go back to the house soon, to make sure he doesn't get rid of it. We started to walk up to the gated driveway that winded up to the entrance of their house.

Nonie whistled, "Fancy people. Enjoy the luxuries while you can."

"Bye Nonie, see you later. Coming to school on Monday?"

Nonie looked unsure, "Eh…I probably won't. I'll be on campus though. I'll be around. See you later."

And with that, Nonie was off into the woods. Running back home. Now my problem was how to hop the fence. I'm not sure when their gates close, but I'm pretty sure that he could've kept the gate open for me. I turn around and walk across the street. I take a few deep breaths and run at a full sprint. When I get the wall I lunged myself over it and unexpectedly come across of bushes.

"Shit!" I scream as I land in the patch of these weird cacti bush looking things. I swear they were not over there this morning when I left, but then again I didn't go this way. I sit there for about five minutes determining the limbs I can still use and I creep towards the door. I grab a pin out of my hair I successfully pick the lock. Of course Captain Dickward dead bolted the door, so I tried another entrance.

Garage door. No. Patio door. No. Pool door. No.

None of the freaking doors are open! As I'm pacing the poolside, I notice the lattice covering thing and a window right over it. Hello, secret entrance! I hoist myself up on the covering and I open the window. It only opens halfway, but it's enough for my body to get through. Without looking I tumble into the room. Two pairs of eyes stare at my position on the floor.

I know I've done a lot of messed up things to this guy in the past, but I think this one surpasses all the others.

**Wowzerss! Guess who she came in oooon! Until next time!!! **


	10. You Need To Understand

Chapter 10

"You Need to Understand What I'm Going Through"

EPOV

"Jasper!" I yelled downstairs for Jasper to get his ass upstairs to help me on my outfit. No, it's not what it sounds like. I just needed some advice on how I looked. I listened to Jasper's words and I called Lauren and asked her to come over for awhile. So we could talk.

"Yeah, man, what's wrong?" Jasper stepped into my room.

"How do I look?" I turned around and looked Jasper in the eyes.

His eyes roamed my body and then finally he looked back at me. When I thought he was going to respond to my question, he burst out laughing. My grin turned into an immediate frown.

"Wha-what's? What's wrong?"

"Edward. Edward Edward Edward." He said as he shook his head. He took a step toward me, "You're trying way too hard. This is your ex-girlfriend not the queen Yugoslavia. Dress pants? A collared shirt with a tie? No. No. Take it off." I did what he told me to while he gathered an outfit for me. "Think casual. Be relaxed. She won't take you seriously if you look like you just came from a wedding or something. "

After a few shirt changes and a hair check, Jasper approved. Just in time because exactly a second after buttoning my shirt I heard the door bell ring. My eyes darted towards to Jasper. I haven't talked to her since Friday. Well that wasn't really me talking, that was Dickward. Dickward is my alter ego that comes out when I've been drinking excessively. I was definitely drinking excessively once I got off the phone with Lauren early in the morning.

I heard the doorbell ring again, and I ran down the stairs towards the door. I paused. I have no clue why I was so nervous. She's my girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend, but I should be able to talk to her.

I slowly moved my hand to the door, but then froze again.

_Come on Edward! Be a man!_

I reached for the doorknob and turned it.

I swung the door open to come face to face with….

Rosalie.

Of all people _Rosalie_.

"Oh, it's you."

Her face went from excited to confused to annoyed in less than a second.

"Is that all I get? 'Oh, it's you'? Who were you expecting?"

I shook my head, "Uh, nothing. Nothing. Um…come on in?"

"Uh..yeah." She stepped inside, and took a look around. "Well. It _looks_ like everything is still intact. So what's been up?" She turned towards me and I was caught off guard.

"Oh..eh…how has everything been?"

"Yes."

I was looking at the ground trying to get my heart rate back to normal when my eyes snapped back at Rosalie, "Fine. Everything's fine."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me and stepped closer to my face. She sniffed the air. "You smell alright. You haven't been drinking have you?"

"What?"

Emmett walked in and gave Rosalie a kiss. Ah love. I remember that feeling. Having someone to talk to when your family doesn't understand. Someone to talk to when a court ruling doesn't go your way. Just someone to talk to that will talk you out of doing something stupid. We may have not seemed like the best couple, but behind doors it was pure bliss. I need to get her back somehow. I don't even know how I got here with her. Drinking sucks ass.

I snap out of my thoughts to Emmett snapping in my face.

"Dude! What is your problem? Did Jasper give you some of his calm pills or some shit?"

I needed to go outside to think about how I should apologize. "Huh? Oh no, um, I'm going to go outside. Okay?"

I opened the front door and was met by the chilly air. It helped me clear my head for awhile until I saw Lauren's car pull into the driveway. I've never had so many butterflies in my stomach before. I was speechless. I never knew how much I would miss having Lauren come to my house or call me on the phone. I'm pretty sure if she slapped me right now I would cry with delight that she touched me. She turned the engine and opened her car door. It was sort of funny. It was like one of those moments in movies where the girl steps out of the car and everything is in slow motion and the wind captures the movement of her hair perfectly. Right out of the movies. That's what happened this very second.

I started grinning just looking at Lauren. She was wearing a pair of torn up shorts with a dark ruby shirt on with Russian gold letters on it. She was the one that got me into those kinds of shirts. Angel wings, scriptures, and all. I walked up to her and we stood there in the middle of the steps up to my house. Looking at each other. Not talking. Just looking.

I stepped closer to her to see if she would move back.

I looked into her eyes that literally sparkled in the night.

I placed my hands on the sides of her face and felt her cheeks.

I've missed her so much.

I leaned in and I kissed her forehead.

"Edward. Please don't," Lauren whispered.

I lied my head on top of hers and whispered, "I'm sorry, Lauren."

We stood their hugging for awhile until it started getting too chilly to stay outside. I made sure to close the gate in case I do something stupid and she drives off in her car.

We walked into the house and into the family room to meet up with the rest of the gang.

Emmett greeted Lauren with open arms and forcibly ripped Lauren out of my anxious hands. "My baby! I have missed you so much! I hope little Eddy has been treating you lovingly!"

Lauren looked at me and answered Emmett, "So far so good."

Every waking minute not being able to have my arms around Lauren made them itch. We were watching Epic Movie. All of us. Us. There is no us for Lauren and me because somehow she got smashed between Jasper and Emmett on the couch while lonely me gets the loveseat. Kind of ironic because there is no loving going on in the seat I am in.

After Emmett's second potty break, I stole Lauren away. We needed to talk. I needed to talk to her. Sure in the public eye I'm a cocky asshole, but when I'm with her everything changes. That's what I need to tell her. To show her how much she really means to me.

I guided her into my bedroom and sat her on my bed. I stepped back and leaned on my dresser. I guess I should just let it all out.

"I'm sorry, Lauren."

She opened her mouth, but I stopped her.

"No, please, just let me get this all out. I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. I'm sorry for not being able to control myself. On Thursday before I talked to you on the phone, I had a few drinks with my friends at Dillan's house. I guess you could say that I was pretty much drunk when you called. I know what I said. I remember everything. I didn't mean it and I know that that's not an excuse to say those things to you. For that I can never take back. When we got off the phone, I drank pretty much until I fell asleep. That explains the way I reacted on Friday morning. I…I…I can't take back anything that I've done."

I stopped talking and looked at Lauren.

"Edward, I'm tired of you always drinking. You getting drunk and then lashing out at me. I have not done anything towards that makes me deserve this. You called me a bitch. You've said such horrible things about me that even to this day I can't forget or even forgive. I've cried too many times over you, worrying for you, hating you, and wondering if you're even going to survive the night. I love you Edward. More than you can ever imagine, but I don't think I can do this anymore. What's going to change this time?"

She needed to know this, "Lauren, I love you. You know that I love you and that's all that I've ever said. For the time that we've been together I've always held myself back because I always felt that I would be fooled. Yes, I know, you'd never do that, but it's just something that I can't control. But Lauren, I can't fathom a day without you. Unless I'm drunk off my mind. Hold on, that didn't come out right. Lauren…I…uh…," Ugh! I'm a babbling mess. I can't get the words out. Everything that I thought before is gone. I don't know I feel like I'm losing her. Lauren sensed that I was getting increasingly frustrated so she got up from the bed and stood beside me.

"Edward, just say what you need to say."

I turned towards her and looked her in the eyes, "You don't know how much I've missed you. I've been literally going crazy trying not to do something. I not only love you, but I need you, Lauren. I was so happy when you agreed to be my girlfriend and I promised that I would never lose you. That I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep that promise, but you make me happy. Sane. These past few days have been hell."

I stopped talking yet again because Lauren had tears forming in her eyes. "Thank you, Edward"

"So..everything…is okay?" I didn't want her crying. I'm honestly not that good with women so I didn't know what she was crying for.

"I've finally heard what I've doubted all along."

And with that I kissed her.

Yes extremely sappy moment, but god I loved her with all of my being. I've never kissed her or anyone so passionately in my life. It's as if two halves of the world was united.

She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's my job to show her that every day or I will _lose_ her.

What happened in the next ten minutes was pure passion.

She slowly moved back onto the bed, eventually falling back onto my bed. I tried not to crush most of my weight on her. Our lips moved cohesively begging for more each touch they got. My tongue slid across her bottom lip asking for entrance. Thankfully, she opened her mouth slightly only to be met by me eagerly. I loved the taste of her. I slowly broke away from her lips to give her a long kiss on her forehead, cheeks, and neck. I returned my lips to hers when we couldn't contain ourselves any longer. I seemed to have sprouted a big hard problem that sort of needed to be taken care of. I'm not sure when or how I got it, but I think Lauren's moaning and my pent up sexual frustration helped. Maybe the dry humping? Maybe.

I didn't notice how hard I was breathing until I panted out, "Lauren? Are you sure? We can wait…"

She stopped me by taking off my shirt and kissing me some more. Well I'll be darned; I think that's a yes.

I temporarily separated myself from Lauren's lips to take off her shirt, when a certain cockblocker stumbles into my room from my _window_.

You would think from the amount of rage that is flowing throughout my body would get rid of my problem, but no. it just makes it ten times worse. I just looked straight down trying to contain my anger. What is Lauren going to think?

I muttered under my breath, "Shit." I tried to get up off of Lauren but it was that easy with a raging boner so I proceeded to yell at Isabella from on top of my girlfriend.

"What the hell, Isabella?"

She surveyed what was going on and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was going to make this get ugly. "Oh! Edward, I didn't know that you got back with her. I thought that we were going to have some fun?"

No she isn't. I got off of Lauren and walked towards Isabella, angrily I spat, "What are you trying to do?"

She smirked, "What do you mean, babe?" She ran her hand down my chest. Fuck, my friend wasn't going down at _all._

"Don't touch me. You know that nothing is between us. Why are you coming through my window? Weren't you going back to your house?"

"Um, why would I be going back to my house when I have a room here," Isabella looked at Lauren, "He offered me a room the first night we had together." Then she winked.

I'm done. I grabbed Isabella's arm and yanked her towards the door of my room, "You know there's nothing between us. You know about Lauren and I. You know that you shouldn't be coming back in the first place. Get the fuck out!"

Isabella turned towards the door but said, "Hey Lauren? If you're ever going to give him some great head, you should tickle his ass while you're at it because he loves-"

I slammed the door in her face. I stood there for a good five seconds before I could turn back to Lauren. I have no clue how I'm going to explain this to her. God! We were so close. Just so close to something that would be really awesome. God!

I turned around to face Lauren, but when I looked at my bed she wasn't there. I went over to the bed and ran my hand over it, wondering where she could've gone. I mean, it's not as if she jumped out the window or flushed herself down the toilet…That's it! The bathroom. I jerked my head over to the cracked door to see the light on.

Hmm…this is going to get interesting. I leaned myself against the doorframe and watched Lauren as she moved about my bathroom. She was all over the place, arranging my towels, cleaning the sink, and replacing the toilet paper. She cleans when she's frustrated. I waited for her to stop cleaning to talk.

"Lauren, she's just staying with us until she can get situated at home." I analyzed her face to get a feel on how she would answer, but I got nothing.

"Oh! Isn't that great? How long has she been here?"

"Um, I think just since Friday. When I left school she came home with me because she was unconscious and…it's a long story,"

She snorted, "How long is she staying?"

All of a sudden I felt guilty or even ashamed, "We're not sure. It's only been two days. A lot of stuff has happened."

She rapidly nodded her head, "It looks like a lot of stuff has happened. Enjoyed being single haven't you?"

"No, no, Lauren, it's not the way it looks really. She's a very sarcastic and malicious person. She purposely said all those things to get me in trouble. She knows all about us. She knows. I told her."

Lauren looked down at the sink, "So nothing has happened between you guys? No feelings?"

Oh shit. I looked down at my hands, "No," I mumbled.

"Nothing?"

"Well, not really anything intimate?" Damn, that came out as a question.

"Edward, what happened?"

I didn't really want to tell her anything because we literally got back together, "Nothing you need to worry about. We didn't kiss or anything. Promise." I looked her in the eyes.

"No feelings are there?" Why couldn't she just let it go?

"There were some feelings," Her eyes cast down, "but it was a lust and no real feelings. But Lauren, those feeling only lasted about three hours at most."

And with that the Isabella conversation was over. We started walking down stairs as it was pretty late. I really wanted Lauren to stay over. Not to take care of my nonexistent problem but so that we could just cuddle. It's been so long that I've held her. It may seem that we've only been broken up for two days, but this rift between us has been happening for two weeks. We couldn't talk to each other without starting an argument.

As we passed through the kitchen, Isabella got up from the table and grazed her hand down my arm.

I'm done with her, "Stop."

Isabella pouted and unfortunately she looked attractive doing it, "Why, Edward?"

Lauren finally spoke up, "Because he's with me, honey. I'm sure you can get one of your guy friends from school to satisfy you, so as long as you're living here, you need to keep your hands off of him."

Phew. Finally I got Mama Bear on my side. Marking her territory. Meow. Isabella drew her hand off of my arm and went back to where she was drinking coffee with Alice at the table. Watching Isabella sit back down made me notice Alice. I need to remember to talk to her.

When Lauren and I walked outside I held her for the longest time in history. I gave her a smooch on the cheek and she was off to her house once I opened back the gate.

I slowly walked back into the house and closed the door.

I can honestly say that today was a great day.

Minus the Isabella problem.


	11. Super Hot Sex Dream

Chapter 11

"My Super Hot Sex Dream"

I decided not to try and talk to Alice. Talking to her in the wee hours in the morning doesn't seem to work, so for the betterment of my sanity I'm going to go to sleep. My bed is the one place where I don't have to hear any girl yelling at me. My slumbering mind can relax since in that world Isabella doesn't exist. I smiled to myself while walking up the stairs. Each step I took I remembered the make out session I had with Lauren. I smiled even bigger and touched my lips. God I definitely missed having that. I didn't know we got so heated until Isabella decided to barge her fat ass head into my business as usual. Although any guy wouldn't turn down sex, by any girl, I couldn't help but feel a little weirded out by how fast Lauren and I moved. It didn't settle right in my stomach. It seemed odd. Misplaced.

I collapsed onto my bed once I took off my shirt and pants and went to sleep.

Or at least I should've!

_1:48 AM_

God! It's like I can't sleep. I just keep on remembering Lauren. You would think it would be in a good way, but no. It isn't. I just feel like I've gotten whiplash from getting back with her. I'm not even sure I want to be with her. Do I want to be with her? I guess I haven't had enough time to think about my relationship with her. It's been a comfort zone. I've never had another girlfriend but Lauren. I've never ventured to the other side. Other girls. Just Lauren.

_2:37 AM_

I should start counting sheep or something. I flipped myself on the other side of the bed and dragged my hand over the sheets. Lauren and I could've had sex tonight. I don't know how I would've felt if we actually did _it_, but I'm oddly glad that we didn't have sex. I don't think I want to be with her. I don't know if it's just my sleep deprived mind speaking or if it's actually my heart saying this. With my mind at ease I started to drift off to sleep.

I was about to enter a deep sleep until my door creaked open. Isabella stepped into my room.

"Edward," she whispered. "Edward?"

She slowly walked further in my room and the moonlight shining through my window hit her perfectly. She was wearing a tight fitting tanktop with just her underwear. I couldn't help but stare at her long slim legs. The way they moved across the floor. Her hair cascaded down her back. She had an odd luminous glow to her. I sat up and looked into her eyes.

"Can we talk?"

I ran my hands through my hair, "Yeah, I don't see why not." Hold on! I should care because she tried to stop Lauren and me from having sex. Or maybe she did me a favor?

She climbed onto my bed and sat in front of me with her legs bent underneath her. With her position I was nicely eye level to her impressive rack.

"I'm sorry about earlier tonight. I didn't know what got into me." She slowly spoke her words while she placed her hand on my inner thigh. Shit. My problem is back.

"I guess I didn't like seeing you with that blonde. I would be a lot better than her. I would be on top rather than you having to do all the work."

Woah! Did I hear what I just heard? I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and tried to speak.

"Shhh. Don't try to speak," she moved closer and straddled my waist, "I'll take care of you _problem_ from here on out."

She started to lay kisses down my chest and my neck. I couldn't speak! It was as if she had a spell cast onto my body to not fight against her. She moved her hips against mine and I couldn't take it any longer. I opened my eyes and lifted her head towards me.

When I moved my lips to hers her face abruptly turned into Lauren's face.

_Holy Shit! _

This is not normal! I pushed Lauren off of me and double checked myself. I kept on cussing and nearly pulling my hair out of my head. I looked back at where Lauren was and she was gone. What the fuck?

I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

_1_

_2_

_3_

_4_

_5_

_6_

_7_

_8_

_9…_

_10!_

I shot my eyes open and I was in the same position I was when I was sleeping. Holy mother of god! It was just a dream. Damn! Shit! Holy rabbits with mustard on top.

I felt my head and my chest to see if I was all there. Once I eealized I was not dreaming yet again, I slowly lowered my head to my lap. My breathing slowed down as I moved my hand to the comforter that was covering my member. I lifted the comforter cautiously only to be met by a throbbing hard dick.

Shit!

I just had a crazy hot sex dream about Isabella! This is a wacked out WTF moment!

Suddenly I heard a knock on my door.

_Just like in my dream._

Isabella peered her head into my room, "Edward? Um, can I talk to you?"

_Just like in my dream._

"You said that in my…" Hold on Eddy! You can't tell her you just had a crazy hot sec dream about her! Gosh! Retrack. Retrack. "Uh? Yeah, sure come in."

I sat fully up and faced her.

"I'm sorry." Please don't continue with the thing about Lauren! "About barging in on your _grind_ session with your blonde ho."

I narrowed my eyes at her. Crazy hot sex dream Isabella wasn't like this.

"It's just-."

I cut her off.

"-that you couldn't stand seeing us together and you had to do something about it?"

She raised one of her eyebrows at me.

"No."

Shit.

"It's okay, Isabella."

"What?"

I had to tell her what I know now.

"I know how you have these feelings for me," I used my hands to make quotes for the word feelings. "I completely understand. I mean, I have a girlfriend now and I know how hard that can be for you. Since we're living in the same house and all, but eventually you'll realize that I'm just too good for you."

I had no clue what I was saying, but Isabella shook her head back and forth rapidly.

"What the hell, Edward?" She yelled.

Crazy hot sex dream Isabella didn't say this. She would jump on top of me and start kissing me. Probably she needed some help.

"No. No. You're supposed to get on me and start kissing me."


	12. Seeing What I Don't Have

Chapter 12

"Seeing What I Don't Have"

**I'm am soooooo sorry :( I've just been sooo busy with guard and school that I've completely tossed this story to the side…plus I haven't gotten a chance to think out the story line that much but for the rest of the following chapters thing will be moving fast. Okay new A/N and fast forward 5 or 6 months…yea I've been really busy with school and life with guard has been uberly busy getting ready for the new marching season**

**BPOV**

That is the last time I apologize to Dickward. Trust me. It's the _last_ time. What was his problem? I will never know nor do I want to know. I decided to go to sleep and try not to think of him or his erratic behavior.

***_Two months later_***

"Isabella? Isabella? Damn will you freaking wake up?" Who the fuck has the nerve to wake me up when I am sleeping? I swear if it's Edward with his sticky jacking off hand I will stab him with a fork at breakfast.

"Isabella?" Alice's voice whispered into my ear over the violent shakes from Dickward. "Damn Edward will you stop shaking her?" Yeah Dickward, listen to the angel I call Alice.

"Yeah? I'm up!" I said, or at least tried to say. For some reason my voice was really hoarse. I tried to speak again but nothing came out.

Edward stormed into my room, "You know what! I'm tired of her shenanigans," His voice turned authoritative, "Get up, Isabella. I will count to three."

I spoke louder this time, finding my voice, "Or what douche lord?"

"Fuck you." He then proceeded to pour water all over me or at least I thought it was water until I opened my eyes.

"What the fuck? You fuck! Look at what you fucking did, you!" I let out of bloodcurdling scream and ripped off the covers. I stepped up towards Edward getting ready to slap him

"Get the fuck dressed Isabella! I've had enough of you!" I've never heard his voice become this loud or angry before but it didn't stop me from trying to yell over him.

"Oh really then why don't you do something about it huh? It's not like I wanted to stay in this freaking hell hole you call home!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs. No doubt the neighbors could hear.

"-Shut up! Shut Up! Isabella I'll be damned if I'm late to school because of your ass! I swear!"

"Why? You still haven't told me what you're going to do about it. Do something. I dare you!" Edward was fuming by this time but I still continued, "That's right you can't do anything so you can shut your-"

All of a sudden my head whipped back almost doing a 180. A stinging pain came from my right cheek. Almost as if it was on fire. I continue to look at the ground wondering if what happened really happened. Did he really just slap me?

"Did you just slap me?" My voice was so small I could barely recognize it. My rage went from 0 to 60 in exactly 0.2 seconds. I shoved him while I yelled, "You don't fucking slap a girl!"

Edward shoved me back onto the floor with his dark green eyes fuming, "I said get dressed."

I continued to watch him walk out of the room and slam the door shut. I never knew he would actually hit me. Shove me onto the floor. Degrade me into nothing less of a speck floating in the desert. I slowly looked up at Alice who still had her mouth covered from what she saw.

"Uh…I'm." I didn't know what to say. Alice slowly took a step towards me but hesitated. She almost took a full step towards before backtracking out of my room. She mouthed the words "Sorry" as she opened the door and closed it.

Yep. Its great how family sticks together. In the last two months things changed drastically. The little war that Edward and I had turned somewhat hostile. Making it less joking around and more serious. He's more violent ever since Esme left the house permanently. When Esme took her last belongings out of the house Edward was ecstatic. For a couple of days that is. Weeks would pass without her in the house and you could feel the clouds that hovered over him. Tormenting him. Alice was of course there for her brother. Same with Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper. I didn't have the house on my side. Not anymore. And I think that, especially right now after Alice walked out on me yet again, I feel what it's like not to have family on your side and see what family does for you when they're there. Of course I can't think of that anymore right now. I have to get ready for school.

Fifteen surprisingly short minutes later I'm on the front porch just trying to keep to myself. The slap to my face wasn't as traumatic as it seemed to be. Just a really red cheek. Nothing concealer couldn't cover up for the day. When Edward finally pulled up with the car, Alice and I crawled in quietly. There was some shuffling around and curt responses, but almost as if the lack of my running mouth allowed my eyes to actually see, I finally _saw_ Edward. I finally saw what these two months have done to him. He had subtle bags under his eyes and his eyes had lost their spark. It's odd. I almost pity the guy, but let's not forget that this bastard slapped me.

Suddenly I felt a grocery bag land on my lap. My eyes darted up to him.

"Here's your breakfast."

He turned and proceeded to get out of the car. I rolled my eyes, "And I thought you wanted me to starve to death."

He poked his head back in, "Starve isn't the right word. Get out of my car."

I did what Douche Lord told me to and walked to my first period. Or I could've walked to my first period but I got dress coded before I could even walk into the building. I can't wait to hear Edward gripe about that, but he should thank me. He doesn't have to man-handle me at home.

_Click._

The second the door closed of the building I immediately knew that I was not meant for this school. All the goody-two shoe students were in there classes and there wasn't a lurker in sight. Rolling my eyes and I reached for the door of my class but I found that I was locked.

_What the hell?_

I banged on the door for my idiot teacher praying that they'd have enough brain cells to unlock the door. Man, I really am hating the world today. I guess you could say I was slapped on the wrong side of the face. _Ha ha…no._

A black-haired guy opened the door and I'm pretty sure his pheromones were made for me. Immediately I was speechless. I could jump him this very second if I didn't have self-control. His dark hair was in his face while his lean body was propped up against the door. His very lean, long, hot, delicious…Get a grip, Isabella. I can't be eating out of this chump's hands!

"Pass." He looked me over as the scent from his cinnamon gum floated in front of me. _Cinnamon. _

_I'm sorry I can't speak. If I open my mouth I'll drool._

"What are you the hall monitor?" I sent him a condescending look.

A smirk appeared on his face, "Nah, just carrying out orders."

I pulled the slip out of my back pocket and placed it on his open hand. I saw a glimpse of his tattoo lurking on his lower wrist. It looked like it traveled up his arm but he moved back for me to enter.

The rest of the period I openly looked at this beauty. I don't know why I've never seen him before. Transfer student? Skipper? Or maybe I sleep too much to notice guys?

The rest of my day was entirely uneventful. I had too many awkward confrontations with the Douche Lord to emotionally keep up with. His eyes were like daggers stabbing every single inch of my body. Now that I think of it there was this one time when he was walking right in front of me and at the last minute he moved around me like the plague, sneering as he passed. This mofo is really getting on my nerves. With those events I decided to just call Carlisle to tell him I got a detention and that I'll walk home. No need to tell Mr. Plague. Once the bell rang I scurried off to the parking lot to tell Edward not to wait up for me, but as I approached the car I could tell talking to him was going to be harder than I thought.

"Edward, don't wait up for me. "

His eyes slowly moved towards mine, "Then why are you here?"

I gritted my teeth, "To tell you not to wait up for me, but I'm pretty sure you would just leave…" I mumbled.

He laughed, "Yeah, you're right."

I'm not just going to stand here, listening to him downplay me. I turned around and started to walk back to the building.

Edward called, out, "Isabella, where are you going to be?"

What the…? Didn't this guy just diss me, tell me that he doesn't care if I'm at the car or not and now he wants to know where I'm going to be? No. I'm going to keep my mouth shut on this one. I continued to storm to detention without looking back at him.

_Mrs. Ekridge. Rm 128._

I inwardly groaned as I opened the door. I can't stand this woman's detentions. I'm pretty sure she stays up all night denying her husband's demands for her wrinkly old body to make up plans for making kid's lives horrible. As I handed her the slip and watched her wrinkly lips twitch in excitement, I was dead sure that she had absolutely no life whatsoever.

"Sit down in the front row and fill out the booklet on the desk. When the others arrive I will section you guys off in groups."

I stared at her, "What joy." To my amazement she looked at me like I hadn't said anything at all. So this lady is deaf. The gears in my mind began to churn. Maybe this won't be so bad after all.

The booklet was simple. Write your name here. If you weren't in detention, what would you be doing? Blah blah blah. I filled in the blank:

_Trying not to punch someone in the face. _

I heard a door open and familiar voice. My ears automatically tuned in.

Looking up, our faces met. This _definitely_ won't be so bad after all.

He slowly walked up to me and placed his hands on both sides of my desk. _Strong, confident position. _Who doesn't like a man who can take charge?

"Isabella, what could you be doing in here?" I smelled his cinnamon gum again and my heart fluttered. It actually fucking fluttered.

"The same reason you're here."

His infamous smirk appeared on his face, "Sexually harassing girls as they change in the locker room?"

He caught me off guard and I jerked back in my seat. His laugh filled my ears as he walked away to sit at the table over.

Why is he so damn mysterious? I sat there wondering if what he said was true or he was bullshitting me which I hope he was. I tried not to look over at him, but his face kept drawing my eyes. He had a chiseled, mature face with stunning brown eyes. They're not normal eyes. They're _stunning_. I wouldn't say they're chocolate but they're like coffee with extra cream. Or donuts that have you ogling them for hours. Or…Get a hold of yourself! You're slipping again.

I was finally able to snap out of my Lover Boy Trance after Ekridge assigned us partners. So here I am, standing next to his gorgeousness outside the cafeteria on garbage duty. Praying that he doesn't think this stench is coming from me.

He picked up one of the garbage cans and started removing the bag, "So tell me why you really are here, Isabella."

I looked down and rolled the cart over to him, "Dress code." I looked at him and saw his face scrunch.

"Dress code." He sounded quite dubious. "Is that all?"

I started to hear him chuckle so I defended myself, "Well, I mean, this is my first day back after not showing up. They just get on me because I don't go to class. I've done worse…" I mumbled off stupidly.

Why do I need to prove myself to him? Listing off my record so I seem more bad-ass.

I questioned back, "If you don't like why I'm here, what'd you do?"

Lifting his hands, "Now, now Isabella, don't get defensive. I just said a couple nasty things to a teacher. Nothing she hasn't heard before."

I sighed loudly. Isabella? How does he know my name?

"How do you know my name?"

He froze and looked at me. "Your slip."

"So you wanted to know my name?" I looked at him through my eyelashes.

He looked down and started to smirk, "Who wouldn't? You obviously know what you're doing." He stepped closer to me and my back hit the bin as I stepped back. "Am I right?"

I hesitated and looked down, "And you know what you're doing." I looked up at his lips.

He stepped away and walked across the cafeteria patio. This boy has me too wrapped up for no apparent reason. This is what happens when I'm not exposed to enough cute guys. I thought he was going to pick up the trash can by the door but I watched as he passed it and headed to the gate.

I know this kid isn't leaving.

"You're coming with me, right Isabella?"

My heart dropped.

He's not leaving without me, that is.

**I started up the story again because I felt like I really should keep it up…it may be a little tricky but I'll get the chapters up Until Next Time. **


	13. Just Like a Movie

Only Because I Screw It

Chapter 13

"Just Like a Movie"

**Aqui esta la cuenta :)**

His voice floated into my head as he sang lowly to his blasting music. I had a shit-eating grin plastered on my face. Plastered. Here I am, sitting with _him_. In his car. With the windows down and my hair blowing like some movies scene.

I looked over at him and he looked at me back and smiled, showing all of his teeth. I wanted to talk to him so bad. Just to hear his voice again. "Where are we going?"

"It's a secret," He lowered the volume of the music. My mind instantly conjured up a horror movie scene where the girl stupidly allows the guy to take her to an unknown place where he brutally murders her. Apparently my face is really easy to read because he instantly back-tracked, "My house. I'm taking you to my house. Unless…you want to go somewhere else? i mean…I could take you home since it is weird that I'm taking…" He mumbled off silently. A small smile tugged at my lips at how nervous he was which was weird. He could obviously come on to me at school but now one-on-one he got all choked up?

"Your house is fine. Anywhere is better than the place I'm staying at." After the words flew out of my mouth I realized what I had implied.

"Why what's wrong with your home?"

Home. No. I said place.

"I'm staying with this kid for some complicated reason and it's a hell hole to put it lightly." My hand ghosted to my cheek. It was still tender. I will get him back. Who slaps someone so hard they still feel it at the end of the day?

"Do I know them?"

Does it look like I know? "No clue, but if you guys are close-knit buddies then you can just take me to his house." My mood soured as I was talking about Edward. Just thinking of him put a rotten taste in my mouth. Bastard.

He chuckled, "You'd have to describe him to me."

I hesitated. I didn't want to talk about Edward but I really wanted to talk to….I suddenly just realized something. I don't know this kid's name! Of all things! I could describe everything physically about him but I don't even know his name. Heck, this kid could kidnap me and no one would know.

Damn.

"I'm sorry, but what's your name?"

I could see his cheeks lift up in a smile, "I was wondering when you ask that. The name's Alec Garner, pleasure to meet you."

I shook my head and muttered, "I can't believe I was so wrapped up in…"

"Me?"

My eyes darted towards him, "What?"

"Me. You couldn't believe you were so wrapped up in me that you didn't even think to ask my name."

I saw his smirk creep onto his face and suddenly his smugness was annoying me. Is he ever humble, understanding?

"No, that's not it. I've just been out of it for a couple weeks, that's all."

I left the conversation at that and looked out the window. I could tell he was glancing over at me every now and then but I didn't turn my head back to him.

_Isabella, why must you be so stubborn?_

My stubbornness must have worn off between the time in the car and my proximity to him sitting on his couch. The room was dark since the shades were drawn but it didn't have a creepy feel to it. It felt comfortable. I don't know if it was the candle scent of his house or the pictures of family surrounding me, but I felt comfortable. And to add the list of pros, he had his arm around my shoulders and I could feel his body move when he breathed. Thoughts of what we were going to do next drifted into my mind. Would we talk, get wrapped up in a passionate haste to discover each other's bodies, or would we just watch TV?

Talking would be the safest choice. Watching TV would bore me to death and who wants to be dead?

I shrugged out from his arm and angled my body towards him.

"So…who are you?"

I looked into his hazel, honey, chestnut eyes as they looked back at mine. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "If I come back home and Carlisle asks me who you are, I should know at least some details."

He nodded his head and thought, "Well I'm nineteen to start off with. I like listening to rap and rock. I'm from Colombia. I have two sisters…"

I interrupted, "You're from Colombia?"

_Ooh. He's Spanish. _I could feel my body shudder in excitement.

"Yeah, I moved here about three years ago."

I looked at him in amazement, "That is really cool. I'm nothing special. My brother is Brazilian."

He became confused, "Lenny, or Lorenzo, he isn't my real brother. We've always been in the foster system together so we're basically brother and sister."

"You're a foster child?" For once that question wasn't laced with pity and disgust, his tone was caring, understanding. Maybe he wasn't a smug piece of shit after all.

"Well we're adopted now but he doesn't really look after us. I doubt he even knows I'm gone."

"Hold on," his eyebrows bunched together, "is that the place where you're staying at now?"

Here we go. "No, I live with my brother and my adoptive father but lately I've been staying with some kid from school."

His face relaxed, "Why?"

Good question. Why _am_ I staying with his family?

_Isabella, you know the answer. _

You're starting to develop of relationship with his father. A real father-daughter relationship. You like the comfortableness of his house and for some odd reason you like having Edward around. Even if you guys are fighting all the time.

I left it simple for him, "It's complicated, but I'm becoming more comfortable there I will admit, even if I don't want to."

He leaned back and took it all in, "You're life seems so hectic compared to mine. All I do is eat, sleep, and play soccer."

_And he's into sports? Suppress the shudder Isabella, suppress it! _"How long have you played soccer?"

"Ever since I was able to walk en las caminas en Florencia."

His Spanish blew me away. Really. Mentally I was 50 meters back trying to fix my hair and struggling to get up from the ground. This boy is really going to be the death of me. It's hard _not_ to get lost in him.

He noticed my silence, "What?"

"That was really sexy."

"Hablando en español?" He leaned in.

"Yes."

His eyes darted to my lips and back to my eyes, but my turned my head and checked my phone. It was already close to six. I should really get back home.

"Alec, could you take me home."

His looked rejected so I quickly explained, "I told Carlisle that I'd be home by now and I really don't want to ruin anything."

The ride back to the house was quiet. The directions back to Edward's house were the only words I spoke to him. Sooner than I thought, we were in the driveway.

"Thanks, Alec. I'll see you tomorrow." I reached for the door handle.

"Isabella, wait." He leaned in towards me and I knew what he was going to do.

And I didn't stop him. His lips crashed into mine and I was met with his intoxicating cinnamon flavored mouth. The inner me was doing the happy dance. _The happy dance. _ They were soft and the moved with mine and I'm sure if he didn't break away when he did, I would've wet my pants.

"See you tomorrow, Isabella. Oh…do you have a number I could call you at?"

Shit. Of all the times I need a fucking phone and I don't have one. I told Alec to wait and ran inside to a number and to grab a piece of paper.

I nearly fell inside the house and ran to the drawer that I knew was full of scrap papers and god was looking out for me because Carlisle was in the kitchen.

"Isabella, you're home a little later than expected."

"I'll explain everything but what's the phone number of the house?"

The minute he said the last number I dashed out again. _Please let this boy still be here._

And there he was with his window down. Talking to Edward.

I know this kid doesn't think he can just walk up to anybody and talk to them. Alec is mine. Mine, damn it.

I walked over to Alec's driver window and handed him the paper, "You can call anytime." My eyes met Edward's and he sent me nasty gesture.

"Bye, Alec."

"Bye, Isabella." His car rolled out of the drive way and disappeared out the gate. I stayed there in amazement that this kid kissed and wants _a number to call me at_. I unconsciously giggled.

"What are you giggling at?" I heard Douche Lord speak up and I definitely didn't know he was still out here.

I turned away from him and headed for the door, "Nothing to worry you're pretty little head over."

As I reached for the doorknob his hand was placed on the door preventing me from getting in. "Edward."

"What is that kid doing here, Isabella?"

I abruptly turned around, "Who do you think you are? Some overlooker controlling everything beneath you? Fuck off." I yanked on the doorknob but his hand didn't move. "Move!"

"He isn't good company."

So now he wants to protect me?

I looked him dead in the eyes, "Neither are you. You think that a good person would slap someone so hard the still feel their cheek hurting?" His face softened. "No, only a complete ass does that."

His hand dropped in shock and I took that I my opportunity to escape.

As I laid my head on my pillow, Edward's face replayed in my head. If he hated me so much to slap me why did care about Alec? This boy has too much time on his hands. Seriously . He needs a hobby.

One that doesn't involve slapping me with his sticky jack off hand.

**Another chapter with Bella being being and who is this dreamy Alec? Yum. Until next time :) **


	14. Going Too Far

Only Because I Screw It

Chapter 14

"Going Too Far"

**Here is the story…**

_***One week later***_

"You're at the gate?" His voice made my heart rate increase twofold. Once he confirmed he was, I threw down the phone and dashed down the stairs to open it. I've been waiting to see this kid for days since he's been suspended. Now anyone would say, "_And you're happy to see this kid?"_ But he makes me feel normal. He actually understands me.

I was in the middle of the driveway waiting for him to drive up. He faked hitting me with his car and I shrieked out loud. I legit thought he was going to run me over. I was just an inch away from my death. That's close.

He quickly stepped out of his car and jogged up to me. "You're such an asshole you know that right?"

He wrapped his arms around me, "But I'm your asshole. Give me a kiss."

I was still a little peeved at him. he started to blow on my checks making them wet. "Stop! Alec, stop!"

He started laughing, "Why? Why?" He blew again, "You still haven't told me a reason."

I kissed him on the lips and he let out a obnoxious groan of satisfaction. "Thank you, Isabella."

"Come on. Alice has been waiting to start the movie."

We walked inside and I waited for him to take off his shoes, "Edward's here?"

"Nah, I don't want to wait for him." Alec left it at that and I knew I was going to make Edward mad by excluding him from the move night, but I'm pretty sure he won't die. One night won't kill him. Or at least it shouldn't.

Alec left to talk to Jasper while I get everyone drinks. I must say that Alec is the best boyfriend that I've had. All the other guys have been chumps to say the least. They always wanted something from me. Yes, Alec does want something from me, but he cares for me, too. It's weird how close we've become in the past week. I've learned so much about him and each and every new fact makes him so much more amazing.

I delivered the drinks and we started the movie. When the movie previews were starting, I heard the opening of the front door and Edward's characteristic sigh. My body immediately tensed up. Each footstep he took to the family room worried me. Maybe I underestimated how mad he would be.

"What are you guys doing?"

Alice turned around, "Edward? Why are you here?"

He pointed to the screen, "You guys started movie night without me?"

Oh lord he sounds so hurt. "Well, Isabella said that you were going to be with Lauren tonight and that you said not to wait up."

He turned his head towards me. I could see his eyes darkening. He indirectly spoke to Alice, "I just left Lauren's house so I could be here."

Alice sighed in relief, "I thought you totally ditched us."

Edward's tone was harsh, "I wouldn't do that, Alice, but I know someone who would."

I underestimated how this would make me look, too. "What the hell, Isabella?"

I rolled my eyes, "Edward, its one movie night without you. Calm down."

Button Number 1. Pushed.

"You don't tell me to fucking calm down. I don't know why you're acting like you were a part of this when it started so you don't know what you're talking about."

"Whatever, Douche Lord." I muttered and leaned back against Alec.

Alec mumbled something but Edward screamed something out, "Call me that shit one more time."

This time it was Alec who answered back, "You need to stop cussing at her!"

This shit just got serious. I heard Edward throw his bag on the floor and I saw his silhouette in the doorway. His voice was calm, too calm, "What are you even doing here?"

"'Cause I can be."

"No. You're here because you were invited. Me. I live here so you don't tell me what I can fucking do. Got it?" Alec muttered something in Spanish under his breath.

Alice finally spoke up, "Isabella, why did you lie?"

Now she's going to get on me, too? "I didn't think that he would care?"

"Bullshit." My eyes nearly fell out of my head the way she carelessly she said it. "You know he cares. Stop messing with him all the time. You know he' going through a lot of stuff and he doesn't need you making life any more difficult for him." She was so calm and understanding that I felt like I was a little kid being talked to. Right in front of Alec. How embarrassing. Edward finally came down and plopped in one of the reclining chairs. No wonder it took him awhile to get down here. He took a shower and didn't put many clothes on afterwards. The only pair of clothing that was on his body was barely hanging on. He had basketball shorts that hung low on his waist and I may have seen his back side once before but his front side. Had a 'V'. An actual 'V'. Someone call Abercrombie and say I found a new model.

Alice asked Edward, "Ready?"

He nodded and for the rest of the movie I didn't hear one peep out of him. No laughing. Nothing. I don't even know why I'm paying any attention this fool. What I should be paying attention to is the hunk of a man that I'm leaning on and that amazing scent that is rolling off of him. He's not even chewing freaking gum! And his laugh. _Oh, his laugh_. It made me want to laugh even if I didn't find it funny. I didn't focus all that well on the movie. I was either stealthily watching Edward or I was trying not to audibly moan out loud from his caressing of my arms and thighs. Now this moaning isn't an _Oh-Fuck-Me_ moan it's more _That-Feels-So-Good _moan.

When the credits started rolling Alec and I walked to the doors. As he put on his shoes I apologized, "Alec, I'm sorry about Edward. He seems to always have a 12-foot pole shoved up his ass. You didn't have to…"

Edward walked past, "Stop talking about me."

"Like I was saying, Alec, don't pay him any mind. Most of what he says is bullshit." I looked him square in the eyes. I could see him opening and closing his hands and the muscle contractions that flexed over his upper body.

Button Number 2. Pushed.

"Go ahead. Slap me like you did this morning."

I heard Alec mutter something in Spanish behind me. "Isabella, I have to leave now."

"Bye, see you tomorrow, okay?"

He nodded and leaned in for a kiss. I met his lips and deepened kiss pushing my body into his. He hands ran through my hair and moaned into my mouth. His mouth somehow separated from mine and he placed another quick kiss on my neck.

"Goodnight, if I don't go now I don't think I would leave."

I opened the door for him and as he walked out I whispered, "I wish you didn't have to."

There goes the one person that understands me. I closed the door and headed upstairs hearing hushed voices from Alice's room. Me being the curious creature I am, I snuck up to the corner before her room.

Edward's blabber mouth was going off, "…make me blow a fuse. If it wasn't for that piece of shit standing down there I would've said something. "

I _know_ he isn't talking about Alec.

"Edward, I think you really need to get this out. And that does not mean slapping the bitch out of Isabella. Start soccer up again or start running."

He sighed, "Alice, it's almost the end of April. My senior year is pretty much over. Plus soccer has been done for months, but I could start running."

If this is his body when he isn't working out then what would it….

I stepped away from the corner and walked down the hall the exact time Edward came out of the room. He spoke up, "Why are you always messing with me?"

I turned around, "All we're doing is having fun, Edward. Don't get you're panties in a bunch."

Button Number 3. Pushed.

"You're such a fucking bitch. I'm surprised Alec can stand you so much because if I was him I would've shot myself by now." He walked down the hall.

"And if I was Esme I would've left by now...Oh wait, she did." I immediately regretted what I said. I know I went a little far with that I must admit.

He gritted as teeth as his feet shuffled, "You know I can't wait till May is over so I don't have to hear you anymore." He started to walk but stopped, "Why are you here anyways?"

I faltered, "Carlisle said I was welcome."

His mouth turned down in a sneer, "You do nothing for this house. You only make it hell."

He turned around and opened his door, I shouted out, "Get over yourself, Edward, and grow some balls."

"And I thought you were…" He trailed off, "but you're such a bitch."

He thought I was what? What was he going to say? He left me standing out in the middle of the hallway feeling so confused my mouth was opening and closing.

"Isabella? Can you come in here?"

I contemplated just walking off acting like I didn't hear her but I did the right thing and walked into her room. I was surprised not to jasper. I could've have sworn he was in here.

"Yeah, Alice?"

"What is with all this fighting?"

I shrugged at started playing with my hair.

"So you really don't know?" I didn't look into her eyes. "I'm just asking you to lay off on him a bit. I know its all fun and games but right now things really aren't going well. Thanks to you he's leaving three months earlier! Three months! He shouldn't be dreading coming home because he doesn't want to deal with you."

I took in what she was saying. He dreaded coming home? Just because of me he was going to leave for college three months earlier just so he wouldn't have to deal? I know I could be difficult at times but I never knew I pushed him that far. Maybe I do need to give him his space.

"Isabella, are you listening?" Her expression hardened, "Look if you think this is just a joke then by…"

"No…no, I get it. I'm sorry. I just need to think things through." I back out of her room and walked down the hall. I heard hushed voices again but I increased my speed. The curiosity was knocked out of me. I didn't want to know anything that had to deal with him. I was an intruder that had no place in this house. I had no reason to still be here. I didn't belong here. I rested my head on my pillow and felt my cheeks beginning to get wet. This house is making me into a damn pansy. Maybe I should go home. Maybe I should just jump back into my life where I left it. I never meant to seriously hurt or anger Edward the way I did. Yes, I wanted to mess with him, but I didn't understand the outcomes of my actions.

And to think when I just got here, he was nice to me.

But of course I shut him out. Ever since the first second I met him.

I've made up my mind.

**Yay a day after I just published….I'm on a roll….just FYI: I've made a promise to myself that whenever I up Listen To My Words then I must update Only Because I Screw It and vice versa so I've been itching to get out of the angst rut LTMW have been in and that resulted in an update for this story. So if you see annupdate for the other story big chances are this one is going to be updated fairly soon. **

**:D Until next time!**


	15. Game Change

Only Because I Screw It

Chapter 15

"Game Change"

I woke up at 5:36. The faint light from the alarm clock lit up my room. It almost made what I was doing eerie. I packed my clothes into a trash bag. You would think that the time I've spent here I would have at least brought a suitcase from home, but apparently I didn't think of that. Apparently I didn't think about how noisy a trash bag would be in a dead silent house. I also didn't think about how Carlisle leaves work at this time.

And I was looking him dead in the eye. My eyes were full of anxiety and his were, well, perplexed. I shifted my feet and hoisted the trash bag further on my back. I stayed quiet and looked to the ground.

"Isabella? What are you doing?" He sounded worried. _Like he actually cared about me._

And I felt guilty because I never thought of him. I only thought about Edward. And how much he despised me. "Carlisle." I didn't know what to say. What would I say? That I was going to skip town, return to my home where my abusive father's wife is trying to find me, and somehow last living in a house where no one is looking out for you? He'd never let me leave.

I didn't say anything. I was honestly choked up.

He put down his bag and walked up to me, "You're leaving?"

I shifted again, "Yeah." I finally looked up at him. Stupid move on my part. His eyes had something in them. It was an emotion that I couldn't pick out.

I could see him trying to understand why I was trying to do what I was doing. "I don't understand, Isabella. Are you not happy here? I thought…"

I cut him off, "I have to do this, Carlisle."

"But I thought you said that you were going to get your life situated?"

Harshly I stated, "I am." A little too harsh. I didn't look at him. Even though right now I was certain I needed to leave this house, I couldn't fight the fact that Carlisle actually cares about me. He has done nothing but care for me and I shouldn't' be mean to him.

"Leaving a perfectly stable home to go to a place where you don't know who will be there the next day isn't a beneficial trade-off. If you ask me, I think it's stupid. You have everything you need here. I'm not saying that your family is bad for you. Think about it, where will you be the happiest?"

I sighed, "Carlisle."

He didn't stop talking, "Where will you be able to actually be you? You're a great girl, Isabella, but going back to a place where drugs is a popular past time is not what's going to get you anywhere."

He was being harsh. Blunt. Judgmental. Everything that would make me listen. He was right. If I continued living at Charlie's, I would be doing weed every day. I would maybe move up to heroin if Jay would return to the house. I would most likely become a bum on the streets. And it sucks to know that I would turn out like that and Lenny wouldn't.

Because he's good like that. He'd be able to smoke as much weed as he wants and still be able to get into an honors college while I would be struggling to graduate high school. And Carlisle sees that. So I guess in a way he's saving me.

I let out the breath I was holding in. "I'll stay."

A small smile crept on his face. "Thank you. I'm only this way to you because I know you're better than what you make yourself out to be."

"I know," I started to turn around to go back upstairs. He picked up his bag and opened the front door, "I want to see you in this house when I get home. I don't need another run-away." He chuckled and walked out the door.

_Another run-away_.

I dragged my bag up the stairs and threw it on the bed. I threw myself on the bed, as well. If I'm going to be staying here, what am I going to tell Lenny? What about my stuff at the house? I'm going to need it. The letter. I need to get it soon before Lenny gets rid of it.

I sighed and rolled over. I have to do so much.

All I could think of the entire day was the letter at my house. Or my _old_ house. What did it say? What was it about? What was the lady doing there? How did she even know?

After school I told Edward that he didn't need to drive me home. He shrugged with disinterest as always and got into his car. He's such an ass. What do girls see in him?

I walked over to Alec for my much needed dose of sunshine. He engulfed me in a large hug. I hadn't seen him all day and his scent will always be like Christmas morning to a little kid.

"Hey, girl."

I kissed him on the lips, "Hey, boy."

He sighed and smiled, "Let me get a little more of that." He leaned in but I pushed him away laughing.

"You're too much! Can you do me a favor?"

He leaned back, "Depends on what it is…"

I leaned against his car, "I was wondering if you'd be able to drive me to my old house so I could get a couple things and drop me off at home?"

He shrugged, "It's not like I have anything better to do. Get in." He waved to his friends that were scattered about the area and started to reverse out. "Where are we going?"

"Out west…" I waited for him to snicker. Everyone knows west of this town is where the drug dealers lurk at night. Where there's an influx of teenage pregnancies. An influx of stupidity. Call it what you want. The ghetto. The slums.

"The boonies?" Or that. The boonies.

I looked out the window, "Yeah."

He seemed in a joking mood, "Damn, I never knew you were tough."

I shrugged, "I told you I had it rough."

He laughed again. Each chuckle that flew out of his mouth angered me even more. Sure my home may not be in the safest part of town and I'm sure as hell know it isn't in Edward's stuck up little neighborhood, but it's still my home. I don't need anyone making fun of me for that, no matter who you are.

Alec looked over at me, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make fun."

I shrugged, "It happens."

He picked up my hand and kissed, "No, really, I shouldn't have done that."

I gave him a small smile. The rest of the ride was just me giving directions. I was thinking too much about what was to come. Seeing Lenny. Telling Charlie. _Like that drunk would ever care. _Finding the letter.

We pull up to my house and I get out of the car, "You stay out here. I'll be back in a few minutes."

He nodded and I walked up to the front door. Charlie's car was there and I wasn't sure if Lenny was inside or not. I'd just have to be prepared if he was. I skipped over ringing the doorbell and walked around out back. I jumped over the fence and tried to climb over a couple of old tires to open the old screen door. It reeked of pure weed when I opened the back door. The kitchen was empty with used plates and bowls filling the sink and counters. The house looked worse than I remembered. I quietly jogged upstairs to my room to get a bag to stuff my clothes in. Anything and everything that was mine I tried to find. My plan was to gather what I needed first and then look for the letter.

I grabbed a couple of Lenny's CDs from his bed and I saw it. It was poking from between a box of cereal and a book on the window seal. You could tell the letter was legit. It had engraved writing on the front.

_Isabella Swan_

It confused me as to why just my name was on the front but I had no time. I heard shuffling from the next room and I saw him in the doorway.

And a girl.

"Isabella, what are you doing here?"

I assessed the situation. I could make up a story or I could turn it back on him. Number two, please.

"God, Lenny, have some decency!" I gestured towards the girl who was obviously drugged up. Most likely LSD. She looks like an LSD type of girl.

Lenny turned around and shooed the girl, "I told you to stay in there!"

The girl mumbled and stumbled back into the room. I stuff the envelope into one of my bags and started to make my way to the door.

"I'd really like to stay and chat, but I have to go."

Lenny's head snapped back to me and he blocked the door, "Whoa, you just got here!"

"I wanted to come back…" He automatically knew where I was going with this.

He started shaking his head, "You're not leaving."

I stared back at him and slowly watched him get angry.

"Are you stupid? Why would you want to stay with them? Why would you want to stay with some rich pricks than your own family, Isabella?"

"Lenny, you don't understand."

He wasn't having it, "No, I understand. It's that boy isn't it?" I tried to interrupt him, but obviously he was too busy with jumping to ridiculous conclusions. "Or maybe it's all the fancy shit that they give you? If it's so good there then why are you here? Why were you…"

"Would you shut the fuck up for one second?" My screaming shut him up. "I can't believe you would even think that I would like being there more than here. You're my fucking brother. How could you just write me off like that? Some fucking blood you are. Dismissing me without even letting me get a say. I would never do something like that to you. Calm your tits. I just wanted to borrow some of your CDs." I showed him the CDs I took. I shook my head and shoved myself past him. I was about to open the door when I heard him call after me.

"Isabella, don't do it." His voice sounded different. It was angry, frustrated. He sounded desperate. I've only heard him like this once before and that was when he was begging Kenneth to stop.

I turned around, "Don't do what?"

"Don't contact her."

I had to back track to realize that he knew I took the letter. "Why not?"

"Why the fuck would you want to? Are you fucked up in the head?"

I started feeling attacked, "No, I'm not. Stop talking down to me. I'm not the bitch you have upstairs."

He lowered his voice, "You're acting like her."

My head unconsciously cocked to the side, "Don't you dare say that to me again. You have some way of showing me that you want me to stay!"

He sarcastically laughed, "I could slap that bitch right upside the head and she'd still crawl back to me."

I rolled my eyes, "That's because you give her drugs."

"I could choke her and the second I stop she'd be moaning for me to put my hands back on her."

Lenny stepped right in front of me. I didn't like when he got like this. I could tell he wasn't sober, but he wasn't mentally gone either. "Lenny, stop."

"Kenneth touched you in ways no man should ever do to a woman and he did that to a child." He looked into my eyes, "Oh, look, you're _squirming_ to hear from him again."

Boom. Headshot. He was right in so many cruel ways. I fucking hate him for that. I didn't want to be around him anymore. I wanted to cry.

And I _don't_ fucking cry.

"Don't talk to me." I opened the door and I knew I had to get this off my chest so I turned back to him. "It's funny because you tell me that I'm your blood. You tell me that you care about me, but obviously for some fucked up reason you don't act like it. I'm at his house for a reason! Staying in this shit will get me as far as that bitch upstairs. Whoring with bum guys for a little dope. You don't care about me."

I walked out the door and head straight for Alec's car. I got in the car and heard Lenny call out, "Then don't fucking come back!"

I shut the door and I tried to steady my breathing. I was about to apeshit. I wanted to go back into the house and rip everything apart just to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him. I tried to bite my lip to distract me from what was happening.

Alec started the car. He didn't say anything to me until we were in the driveway of my house.

"Isabella?"

I feel so bad for Alec. He has no clue what is going on. I'm pretty sure he has no idea what to say to me. How would I react to a girl nearly hyperventilating in my car? To be honest, I wouldn't even put myself in that situation, but if I was _forced_ into that situation then I'd walk away. I'd no nothing. I can admire Alec for that. He cares and caring is something that I blatantly suck at.

"Isabella."

I did what I know best. "Alec, I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk." I shut him out.

"You can talk to me. Trust me."

I opened the door, "Thank you for the ride. You didn't have to do this for me."

While gathering my bags I tried not to look at him. "But I wanted to. I'll call you tonight."

"Alec, don't."

"I will." My eyes unfortunately met his. The amount of compassion in his eyes made me want to puke. I can feel myself reverting already. Reverting to the cold-hearted bitch I thought I got rid of.

I closed the door and stormed into the house. Carlisle was in the living room with Alice. They were talking, I guess. I must've looked like shit because Alice's eyes widened.

"Isabella," Carlisle tried to say more but he just stopped.

What the fuck is up with everyone saying my name? Isabella. Isabella. Isabella. Don't fucking say my name.

"Have you been smoking?"

Apparently the smell from my house was all over my bags because I sure as hell know haven't been smoking. If I had then I wouldn't be all riled up like I am.

"No, it's a long story."

I heard Edward from inside the kitchen, "Why does it smell like weed? Alice, did you finally convert to…" He stopped mid-sentence once he walked through the arch and saw me. "Damn." Even though he said it under his breath, I could still hear him.

I tried to stab him with my eyes but I guess I haven't perfected my skill because he was still standing there. Unharmed.

"What happened?"

I walked away from him but he called me back, "What?" I snapped.

"Tell me what happened." He didn't give me a choice. I looked around at Alice and Edward. Carlisle must be crazy to think I'm going to speak with Dickward in the room.

But he gave me no choice. "Today, Isabella."

I rolled my eyes, "It's nothing! My house is just flooded with weed and scumbags. What's new?" My voice came out hurt, annoyed, and frustrated. You could tell I was near my breaking point.

Carlisle didn't say anything for awhile, but what he said next _almost_ pushed me over. I say almost because I was standing there in shock and not flipping tables. "Edward, go help Isabella unpack."

I turned and thought about his reaction to what Carlisle ordered of him. His face didn't reveal any emotion. _Maybe because he doesn't care. _I walked up to my room and closed the door, but Edward stopped the door before it closed and walked in.

I couldn't help but sigh and throw my hands up in the air, "You don't have-." My voice cracked.

He walked up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulder. I feverishly shook his hands off. "Get off me!"

He backed up, "I'm not trying to come on to you. I'm trying to prevent you from having a panic attack."

I shook my head, but he kept on talking.

"Look at you. You're panting like a race horse and you haven't stopped wringing your bracelet since you've walked into the house."

I glanced down at my wrist and found my hand placed on my bracelet. I backed away from him towards my bags. "Just…unpack" I could barely speak without my voice cracking. I bit my lip trying not to cry. I tried so hard, but I didn't try hard enough.

I wiped my eyes and continued taking things out of my bag. CDs, clothes, even books made the situation worse. I throw a book away from me in anguish. I can't stop from thinking about the things that Lenny said to me. He's never that hurtful. _And now you have no family._

I hear Edward whisper, "Isabella." I could faintly see him walk over and soon enough I feel his arms wrap around me. I only stay in his arms because I'm unable to get out. I have no control over my body and I collapse into him. I begin uncontrollably crying. I don't know if this is from Lenny. Or Kenneth. Both of them together probably did the trick. Edward supported me while he walked us over to some tissues.

He sat me on the bed, "You need to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Isabella, this is for your own good." I finally listened to him. And I was getting better. "Good, that's better." Minutes later, I'm better. Not fully calm, but calm enough that I'm not going to give myself a heart attack.

I looked up at him, "How did you know what to do?" I continued to wipe my tears.

"I've had my share of panic attacks." He walked over to the bags again. He picks up my clothes and turns back to me, "Do you want these washed?"

I nodded, "You've had panic attacks?" Somewhere in the back of my head, I heard a voice saying don't get too curious..to stay cautious.

He stopped, "Yeah, a while back." He dropped down to pick up another shirt that he had missed.

"Why did you get them?" He let out an agitated exhale. I couldn't tell if it was from me since he was getting up at the same time.

"I don't want to tell you why." He walks out of the room in a rush and I stare through the door frame. I continue to unpack. For now, I've decided that I'm not going to open the letter.

Or…I should at least wait until I'm stable.

**Chapter 15 is here. It has taken forever but it's here. Same as always I'm busy with school. This story should be finished by this summer. **

**I'm keeping this story in Bella's POV and here and there in Edward's POV. It'd be too much work for me to do both for every chapter, although it would be nice. **


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